It has taken me quite a while to make the decision to actually do this, The World Race, but here we are. Decisions made, peace found.
I found out I was accepted about 2 months ago and even as I was saying “Oh, great! Thank you! Yay!”, I was thinking “How am I going to tell them I’m not going?”. I know that sounds crazy and dishonest and silly…and it was! Over the last couple months, I have gone back and forth on my decision many times. I have had days when I feel like I could leave tomorrow, and days when I wonder what on earth I was thinking ever even considering this. I have taken my friends and famly on a roller coaster ride right along with me (sorry guys). I have come to see that most of my up and down attitude towards the race had to do with fear. Fear of the future, of what people will say, of people thinking this is not the right decision at this point in my life, of not raising the money, having to ask for money, running out of money, fear of bugs (don’t laugh…okay you can laugh), fear that the people who think it’s not the right decision are right, fear of being pushed way out of my comfort zone…but here’s the thing,
i PRAYED to be pushed out of my comfort zone.
I have spent most my life being decently comfortable; always having enough – sometimes much, sometimes little, but always enough. Although I became a Christian when I was a little girl, I didn’t TRULY start following Jesus until about 3 years ago. Throughout the last few years of what I consider to be some of the most important lessons and experiences of my walk with Jesus thus far, I have gained a desire to be UNcomfortable; to be pushed, to be challenged. I have been consumed with the question “Do they know Him?”. I have this desire to see the way people in other countries live and love eachother; a desire to TELL them about the Love of Jesus, a desire to have my naive eyes opened to the needs of the world, the needs of people who have nothing. I have a desire to share with women about their WORTH; to tell them that it IS possible to find 100% fulfillment and not ever in things of this world, but in the Love of a Father who sees the inner most parts of us and STILL says, I love you and chose you. Oh, it’s such good news and so worth telling everyone about.
My life at this point looks like a lot of open-ended questions and for the last couple weeks, I have found that to be extremely overwhelming. I can now joyfully say that thanks to the constant pursuit of the Lord, I am learning to find peace among the questions. God is good. all the time. no matter what. and guess what? HE listens to us. He knows us. He answered my prayer! I am GOING on the World Race and I am SO excited to say that. Thanks be to the Lord. Decisions made, peace found.
Thanks for reading!
McKenna 🙂
