Y’all the last day of training camp I really struggled. I knew what it felt like to be loved by this squad. by my team. my leadership team. it was something I didn’t want to give up even for just 6 weeks. I didn’t want to come home. I cried so much. My heart actually hurt.
I returned home, and for a little bit I was so drained from being there. I wanted to be back with my community. my people. this family and crazy love. these people that I never knew I needed, but Jesus knew. I didn’t want to be home.
I felt weird and confused. I had a taste of what this new season was going to be like and I was ready to just start the race. I wanted to run at it full speed.
then I started feeling convicted and down because Of the people I had at home. the things I love and the things I swore that would be so hard to give up while on the race. I thought about things like my student ministry. Things like coffee runs, Chick-fil-A shifts, laughs, relationships, and so much. I was being so selfish. I was running so hard and so fast towards something that Jesus was telling me to slow down to.
He told me to be patient.
He told me to soak up this love and the intentional friendships I have here.
He told me to allow myself to be poured into here at home, because I cant pour out of an empty cup.
He told me to slow down, because this is where he has me now.
He said, “May I have something so beautiful here, and you won’t stop being sad and selfish and take the time to realize it.”
Ive learned a lot while being home. I’ve learned a lot about sitting still, being patient, and that there are so many different ways to worship.
I just love that in the times I choose to run and try to control my life and control the timing, Jesus always steps in and just shows me how perfect HIS timing is.
please keep me in your prayers, as I have roughly 30 days until I leave to start this journey.
thank you for taking your time to read this!!!!!
