Yesterday morning, my team and I set out to go grocery shopping, and almost as soon as our feet hit the road outside the gate of our home, we were harassed. As we walked to find a bus, numerous drunk men approached us, yelling things at us, getting in our faces, and uninvitedly touching us. Needless to say, it was an extremely uncomfortable, frustrating, and helpless situation because no matter how many times we said “please stop,” “leave us alone,” or “don’t touch me,” they persisted.
This afternoon, I went to get some fruit down the road with my teammate, and we were met with a cacophony of catcalls. As we stood at a stand buying our fruit, a man stood so close to me that I could feel his alcohol-soaked breath on my face as he attempted to run his hand across the tattoo that sits below my collarbone. He stood inches from my face and yelled at me while I had to constantly push his hands away from touching my body. Again, all we could do in that moment was buy our fruit and exit the situation as soon as possible.
After experiencing these things, I felt frustrated and exasperated. These instances of harassment are not the first that I have encountered in my life, and it is hard knowing that not only has it happened many times before and will continue to happen in my life, but our society is one that often ignores and invalidates instances of harassment when it needs to be addressed and viewed as a serious issue. This is not just something that happens in foreign countries, but is alive and well in North America as well, so don’t simply brush it off as a problem of other countries. In fact, 85% of women in the US experienced street harassment before the age of 17, and 67% percent experienced harassment before the age of 14.
As I thought about these instances of harassment after they happened, I found my anger towards the men who harassed me slowly fading as God began speaking wisdom to me.
While I felt angry and sad about the prevalence of harassment in my and so may other women’s lives, God said this to me:
“If Jesus could say, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:24) about the men who crucified him, you can forgive and love the men who harass you.”
This was one of those “woah, God” kind of moments. Most people, Christian or not, have heard the phrase “love your enemies,” but it’s a whole different story when God actually asks you to do it. I mean, why should I love and forgive the men who grab me, follow me, and shout profanities at me?
Well, why should God love those who murder? Why should God love those who follow Him, but then turn away and denounce His name? Why should God love me, who has sinned and let Him down more times than I can even count?
There is no reason for Him to love us, but the fact of the matter is, He doesn’t need a reason. He created us for the sole purpose of having a relationship with us and loving us. He loves us with a pure, unconditional love, and because we are called to live our lives as Christ lived his, we should strive to love in the same way.
“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” John 13:34-35
And sometimes that means loving the men who harass you.
Something that God has taught me about love is that it doesn’t mean excusing people’s actions or allowing them to mistreat you because you need to be loving. In fact, loving a person well means calling them out when they are not acting in a Christ-like manner and calling them higher.
In addition to that, it means being understanding. Now, rather than feeling anger towards those men, I feel sadness for them that their lives are so empty that they need to get extremely drunk at 9am every day. I try to remember that they are children of God whom He loves, and while their actions may sadden Him, He still does not love them less.
Although it’s hard to feel grace and love when someone is mistreating me, I have learned that the hardest types of love are some of the most rewarding, and even if that love is not returned, I must continue unconditionally loving those around me, just as God has done with me.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8
Street harassment is a prevalent problem worldwide and needs to be acknowledged and addressed. In a 2008 study, 99% of woman reported having been catcalled or harassed in the street. This is not okay. Here are some links if you would like to see statistics and personal stories of street harassment:
http://www.stopstreetharassment.org/resources/statistics/sshstudies/
https://www.ilr.cornell.edu/news/street-harassment-statistics
