I used to think fasting was kinda weird and I never had the urge to do it, but on Tuesday evening a couple people on our squad decided they wanted to do it and I felt God telling me to try to do it too. Not gonna lie this is my first time fasting and I did it for two days so it really wasn’t easy. So the reason I felt called to fast was because during our week in Louisiana doing disaster relief with Samaritan’s Purse, I realized that I actually have to fight to get time with God during the day. Because here at AIM we have a lot of down time and also have a set time for devotions. But Louisiana was our first taste of regular life again (schedule wise) so it honestly felt like back at home. Not really having the urge to set apart time for the Lord. And when we got back nothing really changed. So I fasted to redirect my focus on the Father and to see if there was anything else God wanted to show me.
The first day was pretty frustrating because I felt like nothing was happening. As if God wasn’t even there. And so I went to sleep kinda disappointed but also really hoping I would learn something the next day. Then the next day Gabe reminded me that fasting is to recognize our humanity and recognize our need and dependence for the father. So at dinner I want into the woods by myself to focus on the Lord. I felt like I needed to read the book of Haggai and so I did (killer book definitely check it out). The Lord showed me so much through this book! In this book the people have strayed from their duty to finish the temple and have used all their earnings to bless themselves by living in luxurious houses instead of fixing the Lord’s temple. Haggai 1:4 says, “Why are you living in luxurious houses while my house lies in ruins?” I kinda felt like these people. I thought that me not making time for the Lord meant that I had strayed from him. But as I kept reading I was reminded that the Lord is always with me even if can’t feel him. Haggai 2:4 says, “And now get back to work, for I am with you, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies”.
One last thing I learned/was reminded of was that I don’t need to be discouraged when I miss to set apart a time for God, it is totally awesome to just have alone time with the Lord but I also need to remember that he is not a God of formula. He is not contained to a half an hour or hour of devotional time. You can find God all day through little things like, worship, seeing a color in the sky you have never seen before, watching bats fly around in the sunset, or even watching the Holy Spirit talk through a man preaching a sermon. It was a hard two days but such a good two days! I’m so glad I had the opportunity to do this and will definitely do it again in the future! Praise God!!!
