This shoutout goes out to my former boss Miranda. Congratulations on your beautiful baby boy Barrett! Heck of a name! (My parents almost named me Gaylord don’t ya know).
So at some point during the World Race, each Squad has this event called Parent Vision Trip (PVT). This is where your parents come (If they choose to) and spend a week in your shoes (or Chacos since we’re all millennial Christians here) as a Racer. Or at least that’s the idea. They pray blessings over us, evangelize with us, serve the community with us, and hopefully get to meet our squad mates. They also are able to bring you some much needed supplies; pillowcases, a new backpack, and most importantly, some family-recipe homemade beef jerky!
Now my squad is currently on month 8 of the Race. I was told at training camp months 6-8 are the months that really drag. The excitement and newness of the adventure has worn off, but you’re not quite at the end with the heartfelt goodbyes and wonderful thoughts of home. You’re just kind of there.
My state of being was no exception when PVT came around. I was tired. And I was really hoping that a visit from Mom and Dad at then end of month 7 would be a much needed morale boost; a reinvigoration if you will. Even more so, I desired some confirmation of how much I’ve been growing in my faith. Prior to the race I had this great vision of personal growth for myself, so much so I figured upon my return to sleepy little Buffalo Gap (look it up) I would be unrecognizable. I figured the people in my life would flock to see this new, peaceful, joyous countenance in my face. I just knew it would be one of the first things my parents mentioned. Of course I was wrong.
But let me tell you a little bit about the motivation behind this thought. My high school baseball coach, who also happens to be my uncle, loves Jesus with all his heart. But this wasn’t always the case. He made some big mistakes a couple of years ago. It cost him his family, his house, his reputation, and the respect of a community he had served for nearly 20 years. When I saw him some months after the ship hit the sand, I saw that same look on his face. He had found Christ, and he told me he would lose it all again for the sake of what he had gained.
This was one of the things that inspired me to do the World Race in the first place. I wanted others to see in me what I had seen in him. I expected this would be the case when I was reunited with my parents. I hoped their affirmation of exactly that would be the energy boost I needed to finish the race strong.
Over the course of the five days, my parents and I spoke about my experiences being one of 5 guys in a squad of 48. (Hint hint: it’s stressful). We spoke about my ministry from last month, the way the World Race operates, how my personality fits in with my squad, my team, and the Kingdom as a whole, and also of the change they see in me.
Truthfully, they hadn’t noticed any drastic change. That’s when it hit me . . . my story is different from my uncle’s. My walk with Christ is different from everybody else’s. The gifts He has blessed me with are different!
I have been operating under the impression that if I didn’t have that look in my eyes then I was somehow falling short, that if I didn’t possess the same fervor for our ministry, or feedback, or love languages, or hugging, or throwing my hands up in worship, or Hillsong United then I was somehow failing God and wasting my Race, as if there was a problem with my heart or my attitude.
My parents reminded me that I have always been someone pretty secure in who He was. They didn’t need to see some particular look in my face to know that I was in passionate pursuit of Christ. What matters is that I am faithful to what Christ has presented to me, and that I should not sweat the small stuff. Their presence alone was enough to remind me that I am on the right track in my pursuit of Christ.
I prayed that my efforts for the Kingdom would be affirmed by others recognizing a physical, or emotional change in me. But of course, God was telling me to run MY OWN race, and simply be myself. Quit striving to fit some mold, and follow Me. I was affirmed not because my expectation of recognition had been met, but because it had been taken away.
Peace Abounds. Keep me and my team in your prayers if you will. Thanks and God Bless,
-Matt
