I am always expectant when I go to Quest on a Sunday morning (or any other day of the week). I expect that God will have something to say to me and that whatever the occasion I will receive love from the Father. Today started out the same as any other day I go to Quest. I was expecting great things from the Father and like in many other occasions recently, His plans for this morning were immeasurably more than mine.
I have gone to church countless times and left thinking about how the message was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment. This is always an exciting feeling. It reminds me how much I am loved by God and how He cares about even the little stuff in my life. I often forget this and love these little reminders. Well today I didn’t get a little reminder of how much He loves me. I got a huge reminder. My friend Sarah was preaching today. I love having the opportunity to talk to Sarah and to hear her preach. Sarah was talking about how King Herod disregarded Gods plan for Jesus and how he needed to just let go of His plans because Gods plans are far greater than ours. She then was talking about how we are often more comparable to King Herod in this way than Mary (she said yes to God’s plan for her life without hesitation). I totally relate to this. I want Gods will for my life, but I want to have His will unfold in a way that’s alright with me. I want to go on the World Race but not have to miss out on anything at home. I want my friends to be able to come with me so that the World Race is comfortable. This is not Gods will for my life. He knows that I am not going to see the growth I need while staying in my comfort zone. He wants to stretch my comfort zones so that I can stretch His Kingdom.
Towards the end of the sermon Sarah drove this point home for me by saying that we need to let go of control of our life and Let Jesus take control. She asked what was it in our life that we are holding onto that we need to just give to Jesus. Normally this would be something that I would go home and think about. Not today. I wrote down right away “Let go of ‘Home.’” I have been dreading saying goodbye to my friends and family in two weeks. Most of the people that I am closest to know I had no idea existed when I signed up for the World Race and yet they are going to be the hardest to say goodbye to. There’re even a few people I didn’t know too well 2 months ago that I am not looking forward to saying bye to. I have had a ton of doubts about leaving for a year. Why would God want to take me away from somewhere that has so many amazing things happening? Why would God pull me away from Ignite, Arise and Quest in general for almost an entire year? Because He has ways that I am going to grow this next year that would not be possible while staying at home. I need to let go of home so that I can step into His amazing plan for my life.
My favorite verse is Ephesians 3:20 “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” This verse has been popping up a lot in my life recently. I have journaled a lot recently about how God has given me infinitely more than I could have ever asked for. I have the greatest friend group in the whole world. I go to the best church in the world (for me). I have had an amazing job this past year. My family is pretty sweet. I have just been reminded of God’s love constantly the past few weeks. After church today, I just wanted to go tell Sarah thanks for the message and how it was exactly what I was needing to hear. I have spent a good bit of time at the church office the past few weeks and Sarah knows how I am struggling with the thought of leaving. When I started to tell her how much the sermon meant to me, she kind of cut me off and just said “I know you needed this.” She said how she saw me from the stage and was reminded of what I am going through. She was on the same exact page of me when I wrote down that I needed to let go of home. Like I said earlier, it’s a great feeling to feel like a sermon was made for you, but to be told by the person who gave the sermon that it WAS what YOU needed is a far greater feeling. Sarah confirmed that “home” was indeed what I need to let go of. She also said that I can’t pick it back up. I must leave it be when I surrender it to Jesus. I must be confident in what He is doing and trust His plans for my life.
The message today is not going to make saying goodbye in two weeks any easier. It did however give me peace in the fact that leaving home is indeed God’s plan for my life. I am still dreading saying goodbye to my friends. Now I am also excited to go spend a year spreading the Gospel with 17 other amazing people and they will soon become “home” for the next 11 months.
