Twenty-one days, three hundred seventy-five kilometers (232.5 miles), and one bottle of Aleve. I can honestly say I have never experienced a journey quite like this before. El Camino de Santiago is a pilgrimage that is different for everyone on it. For some it is a physical challenge, a hike that takes physical endurance and strength, for others it is a spiritual journey of self-discovery, and for some it is just a chance to view the incredible scenery that northern Spain offers. For me it was a little bit of everything. OUR objective was to meet people on the trail and in hostels along the way, learn their stories, share our own, and connect with people from all corners of the earth, all while promoting unity within our team. MY objective was to reach Santiago…
We started our hike in St. Jean Pied de Porte, a small town in France where many pilgrims begin their trek. The first day presented some of the most challenging terrain (and weather) that we would encounter. We started our hike at 5:30 in the morning and were a few hours in before we saw the first of many beautiful sunrises. As we got into higher elevations the clouds began to surround us and the temperature plummeted. It was a strange kind of rain that didn’t drop, but just came in from all directions. If you ever wondered what it feels like inside of a cloud…it feels cold, wet, and eerie. At the top of the first mountain there was a visual range of about 30 feet, which sounds like a bummer considering the scenery we think we were missing, but there is something really cool about only seeing what is right in front of you. I spent the first few days praying that God would give me strength and perseverance throughout the month. I would not be disappointed.
Three days and 75 kilometers (46.2 miles) later we arrived in Pamplona, Spain, a city famous for the running of the bulls. At this point I felt incredible. My body felt strong, my spirit was high, and I felt as though I could hike forever. As someone who already has a passion for the outdoors, I was on top of the world. Unfortunately, this was not everyone’s experience. Several people had blistered feet, sore backs, legs, feet, and two even had possible stress fractures. This raised a few questions in my mind: if the strength I was feeling was a gift from God, why weren’t these people given the same gift? And why was I finding it so difficult to feel compassion towards the people I was walking with?
This is where the spiritual, self-discovery part comes in. How could I balance my desire to push myself physically, reach my goals and the goals set forth by our team, and at the same time care for those who were not able to keep pace, and consider those who were unable to continue at all? Basically how do I get the experience that I want and still love others well? To be honest, there were times this month when I did not keep this balance.
We would take a rest day in Pamplona, and then take a train ahead to Leon to begin hiking the last 300 kilometers (186 miles) to Santiago. My prayers were now shifting to requests for wisdom in how to lead our team in the way that God would have me lead, and how to keep a unified heart on a team that may not end up all being together. One team member stayed back in Leon to nurse an injury and try to rest up so he could bus ahead to rejoin the hike later. I was hopeful that the rest would be enough and that we could continue on at the pace we had set. Again, things did not go as planned. The first day that the whole team was back together the injury reoccurred, and another member was struggling to complete the hike as well. We wanted to do what was best for those who could not hike, and bussing ahead everyday was neither a desirable, nor affordable option.
A peak inside my head would show thoughts that consisted of the entire team continuing on, while the injured parties endure pain and struggle to remain upright as we walk, or the entire team stopping the journey and staying with the two hurt teammates (the look on my face in this vision is not a happy one). The truth was that there were others on the team that had able bodies and were just as eager to continue the journey and complete the pilgrimage as I was. We had to make a decision as a team, and after a meeting that I did not handle with much grace at all, the team decided to split up. Three of us would continue on, and the other three would rest up, tend to injuries, and see where else they could go to find some sort of ministry for the rest of the month.
Back to my prayers for strength and perseverance… by this point it was clear that I had not been using my strength to uplift others, but rather to bask in the glory that was being the pilgrim that was farthest along on the trail. While thinking about how great I was and how far ahead I was one day I heard a voice inside my head say, “look around you…nobody cares!” Maybe this was the first time I heard God audibly speak, or maybe I was just realizing how selfish I had been throughout this journey. Not everyone wants to leave two hours before sunrise, and not everyone wants to hike 15 to 20 miles a day with no rest. And it’s probably not good for everyone to push through pain (sometimes it’s ok…use discernment here). Anyway, in a somewhat deserved turn of events, I would soon be given a chance to learn about perseverance. On a day of steep descent (in more ways than one) I would get some terrible shin splints that would stick with me for the remainder of the Camino.
A few more days of hiking went by, myself and the two others from my team that remained on the trail met up with hikers from two of the other World Race teams. As all three teams had lost hikers to injury, we decided to all stay together for the last week and a half of the journey. This was an interesting and new dynamic, but we enjoyed pushing through together and completing the pilgrimage. It was good to hear the stories the other teams had about their walk thus far and to spend time in fellowship with them. Even now, at times when I should have been spending time in fellowship with others or praying and listening as I walked, I would often isolate myself and throw earphones in and listen to music.
By this time I was no longer leading the way, and most days I was one of the last to arrive at our checkpoints. This was partly by choice, but also partly forced by my now aching and swollen shin. Honestly though, a little shin splint is nothing compared to what many people endured to complete this journey.
As luck would have it, we made it to Santiago and were reunited with our teammates at one of the biggest and most beautiful cathedrals I have ever seen. The feeling of relief and awe was overwhelming. I felt that I was receiving a reward that I am not sure I earned. In reality, at the end of my life journey I will receive a reward that I definitely did not earn. In my life I have made countless selfish decisions, and have lived in sin, all while thinking about what a great person I am…surprise, that is not the truth. I keep pressing forward, and trying to be the as good as I can be, but that will never be enough to earn forgiveness for the wrong that I have done. My only hope is in the blood of Jesus Christ who paid the price for my sins, and yours. I can live happily and experience the wonders of creation because of God’s grace. All I can do is accept this gift and continue to try and live a life in service to God and to others, no matter how many times I stumble along the way.
Legend has it that the remains of St. James are contained within the Cathedral at Santiago, and for almost two thousand years people have been making the journey to Santiago seeking spiritual renewal, and for three weeks, so was I.
Micah 6:8 says, “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”
These are three things that I did not do this month. I have been shown that in order to be who God desires for me to be and to live the life that I want to live, that needs to change.
