I have had a lot of thoughts about my spiritual walk on my mind lately. Where is God leading me now? Where will God lead me when I get back home? Is He really calling me to do this certain thing tomorrow or right now? Having this time in the Philippines for the last week and a half has been great. Asia is totally different from Central America in many different ways (i.e. sushi flavored Pringles, hotter climate, more health conscious). But during this time in a totally new place, God has really focused my attention to the things I need to work on in my spiritual walk, more specifically my pursuit of Him. I have realized that this is an area that can be really hard at times…especially when I get back home to the states. Here on the race, pursuing God is not incredibly hard because there aren’t the competing interests of the world and society clamoring for my attention. However, the harder part now is learning how to pursue God while pursuing other friendships and ministries as well.
I woke up the other morning around 6AM and my first thought was that I didn’t want to start in prayer or devotion. Is that where I should be? Shouldn’t I always want to start the day with God (especially being a missionary for a year)? Seeking after God’s heart comes naturally a lot of the time, but what about the times that I don’t feel like it…is that still acceptable? These questions are the kinds that can really make you squirm and uneasy about your own faith in Christ. It is also these questions that God can use to draw you closer to Him.
God really brought me back to Him when I really committed myself in reading Scripture these past few days. I have been reading the Gospel of John lately and I made it to one of my favorite parts the other day…John 8. Jesus is teaching in the temple and the Pharisees bring Him a woman caught in adultery. The Pharisees want to stone her, but Jesus says, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” Slowly all the men leave until it is just Jesus and the woman. He asks her where all her accusers have gone, and she says they have gone. Then the most important part of this story is the last verse where Jesus says, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” Jesus offers forgiveness and grace and does not condemn anyone.
So how does this get back to me not wanting to pray and have devotion in the morning? And how does this “race” shape who I am even after it is over? The latter, I have no idea about (however I will keep trying to answer this question along the way), but the first has been a learning process where even at the times I am not feeling it, I still need to seek after God’s face. He rewards those who are obedient to Him and does not condemn those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). Getting through all of this has been great because it really makes me firm in what I believe and who Christ has made me to be.
Things are going great here right now and I can’t wait to update on more of what we are doing here shortly. Thank you so much for the continued encouragement and support!!!
