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I was reading Jennifer Myers’ blog last night, the one
called “Frozen“. It’s actually a
beautiful post and I recommend you reading it although I didn’t really catch it
the first time. She said something in
there that stood out to me and it sent my mind off wandering, set my thinking
into a whirlwind of emotion and other sappy things. She said, “I find myself waking up in the
early morning with a particular event or person heavy on my heart. [And] I can see all the details and feel all
the emotion that surround [them].”
And I remembered.
I remembered this being the case and I hate to admit that
even after a month of being home this isn’t as true as it used to be. And then I remembered those times that I would
pray dangerously. That’s right, dangerously. Some people don’t really know what that looks
like and I suppose that’s okay because I don’t know that I really do either,
but I do know that I need to do more of it because I’ve waned on the side of “dangerous”
lately.
When we were in South Africa there was one day that we were
all sitting outside on the deck praying together. I know, it sounds holy and makes us appear as
saints, but it’s because we are. I
remember in particular Sarah and I were just going at it, praying all of these
different things like, “God – I’m willing to die for you, I’ll do whatever it
takes, persecute me if it’ll further your Kingdom, I want to see what you see,
I want my heart to break for what breaks yours, etc.”
You know, dangerous
stuff.
Well our friend who was praying with us said later on that
he didn’t think we really realized what we were praying for. My simple response of, “of course we did” didn’t
solicit much more confidence from him either.
I was purposively praying dangerously that day because I realized how
sold-out for the Kingdom I am, how committed I am to God’s love that I want to
see it everywhere. I want to infect
people with God’s love. Let’s see this
thing become viral, right?
This is what I remembered last night as I read Jennifer’s
post. And so standing in the shower this
morning I started praying those dangerous prayers again. After awhile, what was dangerous before seems
less dangerous now, so I was taking it further than I did in South Africa. I figured I spent a year warming up so I may
as well start pushing myself. The hardest
prayer I prayed while in there? “Father –
stretch myself beyond who I am even now, especially while in the United
States. I want to be even more like you
and I’m willing to do whatever you ask.”
Then God said something that I just can’t seem to shake.
He said, “It doesn’t necessarily matter that you pray
dangerously, but that you respond dangerously.”
And the profundity of that statement as yet to escape
me. The thing that we often forget is
that whether we like it or not, God does answer our prayers. He hears every single last one of them but
the catch is that we sometimes have to respond to His response … and if I’m
praying dangerous prayers, I’m going to have to react to the response dangerously.
So go right on ahead and pray those dangerous prayers… and
don’t forget your end of the bargain.
