I leave in 15 days and it seems so unreal that though this will
remain the place that I call home, it will no longer be the place that
I feel like I fit. As each day presses on, I grow more eager to push
the edges of where God is taking me. Strangely, I’m not even sure where
all that is but I like to think of that as part of the adventure.
Everyone
has asked me at some point as to whether I’m excited to leave or not.
Of course I am but I have an incredible fear in leaving behind all that
I call ‘normal’ for something that’s completely out of the ordinary…
and then knowing full well that the un-ordinary is going to become the
ordinary and I’ll come back and expect even greater things.
It’s
amazing the transformation that God has done on my heart in the last
three weeks. I feel like He’s preparing me for what’s going to occur,
but in a very vague sense – in a way that I cannot even put into words
what I’m feeling at this point.
I guess the point of this is:
I’m ready to leave. I’m ready to chase Jesus to new places that are
outside of my senses and what I can comprehend so that I can come back
to the States and infuse others here. My problem is knowing that I
already have this itch that I’m getting ready to scratch – only it’s
going to itch even worst after I scratch it, so I don’t know how long
I’ll remain here when I come home. Fortunately, that’s not for me to
decide but that’s something that I daily turn over into God’s hands.
At
this point, I’m fighting the desire to return to school and work on my
Masters. I would love to be able to teach, do urban ministry, but
continue mission work overseas. Yet that may not be what God wants for
me. I know that I have the freedom to dream big and I’m taking
advantage of that right now. I can’t wait to see what He has in store
for me over the course of the next year or two.
My prayer is
that I don’t limit God or myself, but take advantage of the liberation
that I have through Christ to take the passions He’s given me to the
places most out of the ordinary.
Oh… and I still need about $7000. Support me here.
