There are a lot of times that I always seem a step behind myself. I realize that I tend to write these blogs a little too frequently about what I could have done instead of writing them about what I did do. I think the point is that I’m at least taking baby steps and making small attempts to step into something bigger than myself. I’m learning that it’s a process and processes are inevitably coupled with time… always.
I was sitting on the front porch the other night talking with Kim about some of the things that happened in India. We were talking about what the answer is for India, how to abolish all the confusion from their 300+ million gods, how to end the hunger, how to wipe away the caste system and all the other garbage that goes on there. The answer – Kim told me – is Jesus. It sounds cliche but it’s so true. Jesus really is the answer they need there. So if any missionaries from that part of the world are reading this right now, just remember: Jesus is the answer to that annoying rickshaw driver.
But our conversation helped me recall something more specific.
The day that we went and visited the Taj Mahal we also went and visited this place called the Red Fort. Unfortunately we didn’t go in because time and money fettered us to the reality we were struck with. I don’t know how many of you readers are aware that traffic is a huge problem in India. In fact, I hate driving or riding in India. I’d much rather walk somewhere. Actually, I’d much rather find a way to tele-transport myself there and avoid the maddness altogether. Yet this is not the case… and has nothing to do with what I’m writing you right now.
Most of these tourist-y places in India are surrounded by an army of people selling all kinds of things, actually that’s the way it is in most places of the world. I mean I can literally buy anything I need. I know I’m visiting the Taj Mahal, but let me go ahead and buy a tube of toothpaste. I’m outside this amazing fort that was built hundreds and dozens of years ago, but I’ll go ahead and buy some deep fried bread because, well, I guess I might be hungry later. Oh, wait! You’re wanting to sell me a god? Sure… why the hell not, I’ll buy one of your hand-carved idols because I’ve never seen an elephant with four pairs of humans hands!
Welcome to the enivronment outside the gate of this fort.
After deciding that I should probably head back to the bus I ran into this guy who was very insistent that I buy an idol of one of his gods. I mean, afterall, they were hand-carved and pretty creative. After so long in India, you kind of learn how to entertain these guys and get kind of cocky.
I decided to entertain him a little bit. Let me illustrate my conversation with him. Remember, this guy only spoke enough English to try to sell something:
Man: (in forced broken English) would you like to buy a god?
Me: (trying to sound surprised) what?!
Man: would you like to buy a god? I have many.
Me: (sounding not-so-suprised) I’m sure you do. Who are these gods in your hand?
Man: (tells me their ridiculous names)
Me: (Stunned) Wow.
Man: Yes, you name the price.
Me: I don’t want to buy your gods. I have a God.
Man: (Insistently) You pick price.
Me: (Seriously spoken) I have a God. He’s the God above those idols in your hand. His name is Jesus.
Man: I can get you Jesus!
Me: (Legitimately surprised this time) Oh, really? You got Jesus?
Man: (Not-so-confidently) I have Jesus…
Me: No, no… no you don’t. You don’t have Jesus like I have Jesus.
Man: (Resolved that he really can…) Yes, I can get him.
Me: Yes, you could get him, but I don’t want an image of him.
Man: (a little more timid) I can get him for you…
Me: Thing is, bro, I already have him. Do you want Jesus?
Man: (like a salesman) I get him, you name price.
Me: You just don’t get it.
And then in this exact moment, I’m not lying, I look straight ahead and see a crippled man with one of his legs sort of shriveled up. Immediately I think to myself, shoot, I’ll just walk over and pray over that guy so he’s healed and this guy can SEE who my Jesus is, who my God really is… and it’ll be cool to see his leg unshriveled… it’ll make a good blog.
What did I do?
I walked back to the bus, got on, and we peaced out of the Red Fort and headed back to Dwarka. Once again, I knew what I could have done and didn’t do it. I tend to be really good at that, but so does the rest of the Church.
And I’m not trying to create excuses for myself or for the Church at large, I’m just saying that sometimes we really suck at doing what we know we’re supposed to do. I merely write all of these words and stories and pray to God Almighty that you’ll actually learn from my mistakes before you make them yourself. I could write about a lifetime of mistakes and I’m only 24 years old. It’s easy to make mistakes in that amount of time.
Frankly, I don’t care if you’re not on board with miraculous healings, the Holy Spirit craziness, and all of that. I just know that when I read my Bible I see a lot of that happening within the pages of Scripture. And I wonder why I grew up in America and walked the “streets of gold” as many view them around here, only to find that the streets aren’t really made of gold and they’re not all that worth walking when nothing’s happening, especially when we’re referred to as a “Christian nation”. Why are the streets of a Christian nation void of the Lord’s praise? Why are the streets of a Christian nation chalked full of orphans, homeless, and addicts?
And I know there’s a group out there that aren’t part of the “majority” I’m speaking about. There’s a generation crying out for something more and, in fact, they’re doing more than crying out, they’re actually walking these stories you can read in the Scriptures out. I’ve seen these people. But the best part is that I haven’t even caught glimpses of them, I have the priviledge of living this year with them. It’s been quite the year of empowerment… of stepping outside of myself into something greater.
It’s easy to want to wallow around in our self-pity though, even as a Church, and see all of the places that we’ve failed in life and the things that we could have done differently. Heck, it’s been really easy for me to do that this year, but I’ve learned that we can’t do that. We have to learn from our mistakes and move on. And really, it’s that simple.
We want to complicate things because we honestly don’t believe that it’s that easy, that’s God’s forgiven us, that our friends have forgiven us, that no one’s condemning us, including ourselves. We think it’s not that easy because we believe Satan’s lies concerning it.
When we step into God’s reality and just let go of what we didn’t do… we can step into that greatness that God is calling out of us. We’re able to reach out next time and heal the crippled man with a shriveled leg. We’re able to pull a widow to her feet and get her back on a straight path. We’re able to feed the homeless guy we saw on the street corner. We’re able to be the Church that we see in Scripture. We’re able to be the generation that’s crying out, that’s stepping out, and doing something different.
When we pick ourselves up and move on, we see the Kingdom burst forth from the most unlikely places. The devil wants us to stay down, to argue doctrines and theologies and box ourselves in with these brick walls of false-truths (some are truth; I’m not bashing all of them). God’s beaconing you to something greater, friends. God’s calling the Kingdom out of YOU! Not just me. Not just my brothers and sisters here.
So stop thinking about doing it. Stop thinking you can’t because of what you’ve done. Stop thinking you can’t because you made a few mistakes. So what? You messed up. Fail forward, pick yourself up, and move on already.
This is what I’ve learned I guess.
What are you going to do?
