This is probably the point in time that I supposed to say
something incredibly profound about leaving tomorrow. A lot of people have probably expected me to have spent the last
three months in solitude perfecting my walk with God before I go, spending time
with Jesus every morning, digging into the Word, praying for little kids in the
stores, etc.
But I’m no superhero and I realize that nobody really
expected that from me but myself.
I would probably say that I’m the most ill prepared person
to leave and go on the World Race, yet I truly believe that God wouldn’t want
it any other way. I’ve reached that
point where I don’t know what to expect from myself that I’m waiting to be
surprised at who I become. I’m
preparing for the shock as best as I know how, but I also know that it’ll never
be what I expect it to be. Basically,
my expectations have been blown to bits already and since they’re lying around
all over the place, what I think I expect couldn’t be any farther from the
truth. It’s strange to explain.
The reality of departure has finally caught up with me…
about yesterday afternoon. I sold my
car to some really amazing people, I packed, and now I’m just kind of waiting
around getting ready to say goodbye to some more incredible people throughout
the day. And though the reality of
leaving has caught up with me, I’m not so sure that my emotions have.
I feel numb.
There’s excitement but there’s also an abyss resonating
deeply in my stomach. Am I
nervous? Probably. Am I hungry? Always. I would be lying
to you if I told you that I wasn’t scared.
Unfamiliarity stretches me and grows me beyond what I could ever
describe, but it doesn’t make it easy.
And the fact that I’m leaving all that I call normal freaks me out.
But I can’t wait.
The most difficult part has been waiting to say goodbye to
the few that I love the most – not that I have an attachment more to some than
to others… well, I do. These goodbyes
have yet to occur, but are scheduled to happen in the next 24 hours. It exhausts my spirit thinking of the
emotion that’s going to drain from my body.
Yet I can’t wait to be ruined.
There came a point during my New Year’s Eve party that I
realized 11 months really isn’t that long of a time. Some people would beg to differ with me and that’s fine – I’ll
let them because we’re all different and we all place a different value on the
time that we’ve been given. I’m just
choosing to do this with mine. It’s all
perspective, really.
So a little over 24 hours from this moment, I’ll be sitting
on a seat in the sky headed to Florida where I’m meeting my team to fly out to
Peru. This is probably my last blog
before I’m in another country, but I hope that you continue to follow my
journey as I traverse across the globe chasing Jesus. Please send emails, leave comments, and all that encouraging and
sappy stuff. I truly do enjoy it.
God bless!
