I am from Raleigh, NC, and went to school at the University of North Carolina. After forgoing plans for graduate school i moved to Savannah, GA in order to be a part of college ministry. This has been my joy the last three years, leading worship and teaching from the Word in these gatherings.
I think sometimes the best way to get to know someone is to find out what they are most passionate for, to find out what they hold most dearly, to know what it is that they would die for. This is me: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith, and this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God” (Eph 2:8).
And if you are going to know about me, you got to know the whole me. God didn’t die on a cross for the righteous; He died on the cross for the wicked. He died for those who hate Him, for those who, in fact, drove the nails; He died for those standing by, spitting on Him and mocking Him. He died for those who did not desire Him, for those who did not deserve Him, and for those who did not ask for Him. I am all these things… I deserve not Christ, but eternal punishment. I am a profound sinner, each day revealing levels of corruption that baffle me. i am weak, broken, hurting, afraid, incomplete, and imperfect…..
Such realization is painful. But herein lies the gospel! How sweet is the gospel? And does the gospel not perfectly magnify our Lord? “For God shows His love in this, that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Rom 5:8).”
Despite my condition, i am accepted, forgiven, and loved by God.
Knowing these things in my head, and having them as vibrant realities in my heart, are two completely different things. It has been, and continues to be an unbelievable journey as God does what only He can do, and that’s turn my heart towards Him.
When I was 12 years old, broken over sin and frustrated with life, I put my faith in the Lord Jesus! Feeling His embrace and love, I knew there would never be any turning back, but oh what the Lord must do to refine us.
As high school was coming to a close, my zeal for the Lord grew cold. I began searching for satisfaction elsewhere, living in rebellion against God and His commandments.
It wasn’t too long after this that I realized I was in trouble. The Lord had, in essence, lifted His hand from me, and allowed me to taste the independence that I desired. A mind not governed by God is a scary thing, and I went to some very dark places. I was thrust into a mighty depression, of which I was determined to get myself out. But the harder I tried, the deeper I fell, and the deeper I fell, the more i hated myself. It was a sick cycle of self, self, and more self.
“It is the Lord’s kindness that leads us to repentance” (Rom 2:4), and I began learning this firsthand through my pastor, who embodied Christ to me. Somewhere in his acceptance, somewhere in the great love that I felt, I gained strength to say no to my old ways of living. It was the gospel that I was learning. Not Matthew’s righteousness, but Christ’s righteousness!! What better hope is there? And what relief? That I did not have to clean up before Christ would love me. And so a spring of joy began welling up within me. Whoever knew righteousness could be so much fun and feel so incredibly good!!?
“God is the God of all grace. And grace means there is nothing i can do to make God love me more, and nothing i can do to make God love me less. it means that i, even i who deserve the opposite, am invited to take my place at the table in God’s family……. i am trying in my own small way to pipe the tune of grace. i do so because i know… that any pang of healing or forgiveness or goodness i have ever felt comes solely from the grace of God.” (Yancey)
That was seven years ago when God radically changed my life. My theme is still the same: grace! And it deepens every day, the wine of His love becoming more and more sweet, more intoxicating to my soul. “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!” (Rom 11:33)
other things i love are reading, getting in the Scriptures, playing music, worshiping, having conversations, praying, laughing, being with friends, sports. the good stuff!
Two of my greatest heroes of the faith, who have had a profound effect on me, are John Piper and Charles Spurgeon. i am content to read Spurgeon sermons for the rest of my life!
and last but not least, i have a wonderful family, whom i love dearly. my mom, dad, and two awesome brothers, Jimmy and Chris, with their wives Katie and Maury, along with my beautiful niece Lilly, and Precious, my border collie, Jordan, who died a few years ago (but we pretend she’s still alive).
