Choosing Vulnerability
Here at training camp, a word that has been spoken over us time and again is Vulnerability. So lets take a look at it and how our Squad is taking to the challenge.
Vulnerability is something that common culture has taught us to stay as far away from as possible; this applies even more so to men in society. However, the Lord calls us not to be of this world, but rather His. To many, including myself, this is something hard to wrap my mind around (even more so when we’re tired and slightly hungry). Being surrounded by 25+ new faces, names, and personalities that you have to figure out can be exhausting, especially when you know this is who you will be with for the next 11 months. My thoughts heading into this? Lord, what have you gotten me into?! and why do you keep telling me to be vulnerable with all of these new people? (Hint: fighting/pushing back against the Lord isn’t ever gonna make you win)
Throughout the first few days of Training Camp, God was really calling for me to start this journey with a precedence of vulnerability and openness; this is not something I had an overwhelming sense of excitement for! The leaders here at TWR have intentionally designed the training camp program to allow for growth and openness. During a breakout session, we had to come face to face with our “false self”, the mask we put on for others. In another, the topic was Wounds, past and current. This is where the Lord was prompting me the most and I was still fighting back, but like usual He won. I was able to open up about the deepest darkest moments of my life and the horrible decisions/consequences that followed for me. This was amazingly freeing, yet I still felt that I was hiding from my teammates. However, God soon provided opportunities for them to be a part of the growth and healing that was about to take place.
During the next worship session, my Squad, that has become my family, gathered around and laid hands on me in prayer individually, something I’ve never experienced before in my life. Don’t miss this… the prayers that my squad prayed over me were, deep, meaningful and had a major impact that they had no idea about. I instantly felt a supernatural weight lifted off of my shoulders, that I haven’t ever experienced before! How did we get to this point you ask? On my knees, praising God, and simply having a conversation with Him and listening for His voice. In that moment that I was there at the feet of the Lord saying “You are Good” I also had the question of “How are you going to use all this baggage for your kingdom? How can any of this be good? How can the kingdom be shown through this situation?” WELP… If you take it before Him, you never know how quick His response will be. However, if you refuse to take it before Him, it will always go unanswered, because you never asked. In this situation, the Lord brought my Squad around me in deep, Christ centered prayer, instantaneously. Soon after praying over me, in two separate situations members of my Squad came to me with visions the Lord gave them while praying over me; both were as detailed and accurate to the situation present in my life, that neither of them had prior knowledge of. The Lord once again BLEW my mind and made me forever thankful to serve Him.
This is just a small glimpse into the power of God moving here at training camp and the obedience of the members of my squad to submit themselves to follow Him in every way. I am truly thankful that He provided all of these amazing people around me and cannot wait for this next year of daily life and ministry with these people I now call my Family.
