What in the world am I doing???
I find myself asking that question a lot now.
I've always had a heart for missions and my heart would break when I watched videos of orphans, the hungry, the hurt, the lost, etc… I just wanted so bad to do something about it. I had never had the opportunity to go on an international missions trip until this February. However, last year my church did an outreach right here in my hometown in a very dangerous area.
As I was getting ready to go on this outreach I began to ask myself, "what in the world am I doing?" This was a very risky place to go. Shootings and other crimes were always being reported. Were we really about to set up in the middle of this community, perform Christian music, give out food, and go door to door??? We could be shot! Although I had that question running through my head, the moment I arrived at this community, all that went away and I had this sense of peace that I can't really explain. For the first time I felt like I had really grasped what Gal. 2:20 says,
“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
Also in Mark 8: 34-35,
“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it.”
When I accepted Christ as my savior, it wasn’t I who I lived for anymore but Christ who I live for. I can honestly say that I was ready to be shot for Christ if that had been His will. As a Christian, that is the most awesome place to be! My desire and goal is to always have faith like that! I went home just about in tears of sadness, joy, and a greater passion not to stop there.
That wasn’t the only time I have had that sort of experience. God finally gave me the opportunity to go on my first international mission trip. This was to the Dominican Republic. I was so excited about doing this and began to raise the financial support… As this trip became more official, more emotions started to come along with that excitement. I was anxious, nervous, scared, and began to ask myself what in the world am I doing??? He quickly reminded me of what I was doing. I was doing just what He called us to do.
“He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.” Mark 16:15
“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit” Matthew 28:19
One thing that impacted me the most and ensured God’s calling on my life was the night we did street evangelism in the slums. I’d only seen places like this on TV. What you see on TV doesn’t even begin to describe what it’s like. God began to speak to me as I entered the slums with my group. I began to think to myself, “I should be so scared right now knowing just how dangerous this is… But fear never once came upon me. I was filled with so much peace as I walked through the street with two hills on each side of us full of small tin box shacks. Some had no roof and some had no walls… Kids were running everywhere with no one watching them. People were dealing drugs and doing drugs. God gave me a vision. I could see Jesus walking down the street. People were surrounding Him as He poured His love out on them. I had so much joy in knowing that we were doing just as Jesus did and all I wanted to do was love on them and share a little hope! As we entered a certain area of the slum, one of the men who lived there warned us of going into this particular area and said that we could be killed. What?? Yeah, killed! But that didn’t stop us because we were there doing Gods work and knew we were protected by the most high God!
“I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after your body has been killed, has authority to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him.” Luke 12:4-5
Again, after that night I was just ready to die for Christ if that’s what it took. I couldn’t see myself settling in the “American Dream” that we all work towards. I knew that God was calling me into the field but where, when, and how?? So I came back to my daily routine ready to be God’s light right here in my hometown. I knew God was calling me into the mission field but didn’t know the answers to those questions… At times I became impatient and tried figuring it out on my own because time seem to be running out with graduation and the decision of re-signing my apartment lease right around the corner. God quickly showed me that He has a plan and a perfect time and place for that plan.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
I knew that I had to trust in His calling and have patience in waiting on His timing. So I did. I had to just take a step of faith by not signing my lease knowing that God was sending me somewhere else. A month before graduation while still not knowing where God was calling me, it was then that a good friend of mine, Meredith, posted something she wanted to do after graduation. It was called the World Race. I had never heard of it before but come to find out I knew a couple of people that have been on it. I instantly knew that’s what God had for me! So just to confirm that, I spent some serious time in prayer and reading His Word. God sent one confirmation after another very quickly, especially through His word. Not knowing exactly what all was in the book of Luke, God led me there and it was all about going where God has called and being a disciple. I was in awe at what God was showing me and confirming. At the same time, I was scared and those same questions of what in the world am I doing came rushing in! Those thoughts are there even more now that it’s official and becoming so real to me. I know now that those feelings only mean that God is going to do great things if have faith in Him and ignore the lies of the devil.
So here I am, officially a World Racer! This is going to be the most exciting and testing time of my life thus far. It’s not a journey that will begin and end. This is the beginning of a life long journey. This is just a step into the calling God has placed in my life. It doesn’t begin in January but begins now.
I ask that each of you join me in this journey! Prayerfully and/or financially. To support me financially, click the Support Me button at the top left of the screen.
“Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”
