I love challenge! Especially physical challenges. I will admit sometimes I’m hesitant in partaking in certain things. Sometimes I have doubt that I’ll be able to finish the task. Sometimes I’m fearful of the consequence if I mess up and hurt myself. I like to weigh the risks and stay safe and make the sensible decisions. And so last week I was pushed to my limit……………
My goal was the highest point in Central Bolivia, which is called Mount Tunary(?). We drove to about 14,000 ft above sea level and then hiked, scrambled, and climbed the last 3,000 ft. I’ve never experienced as much physical pain, emotional strain, and as big of spiritual battle before. The climb took me about 2 hours to reach the top. About 30 minutes into the trek I was so light headed from the altitude that I stressed over the thought of sucking up my pride and calling off the journey. I live in flat Manitoba, Canada, so this was not in my daily routine of altitude adjustment. I became light headed, blurry vision and felt like giving up. I was ahead of most people, so I decided to sit for a few minutes and catch my breath until the others caught up. I spent this time in prayer and battled with the Lord of what I should do. The regret of not doing this was over weighing the thought of the pain of completing the task. And as it turns out, in those 10 minutes or so my head cleared up and my strength was regained. I knew this wouldn’t be the last battle, and as I looked up I saw the next ridge as my next goal.
Most of my climb was spent by myself. The closest person was either 50 yards in front of me or 50 yards behind. I was climbing at my own pace and when I needed rest I took it. I found myself in constant prayer of frustration, pain, and even regret at times. Was I pushing away logic and putting myself in a dangerous spot if something should happen to me? Was this decision to push on worth it? I would soon find out……….
The higher I climbed, the greater the view became. My whole view of how big this mountain was became more and more surreal. I also realized more and more how small I was in comparison to the Lord’s mighty creative hand. The higher I climbed, the more I had to rely on the Lord to strengthen me. I went past the point of no return and the only option was to finish. The cross on top was in sight. It was within reaching distance. I was almost there. To turn away now would be foolish. My goal was that cross!
Victory!! I made it! I conquered what I thought was impossible an hour before. I realized what I can do through Christ on a complete level (emotional, physical, and spiritual). I surprised myself. I found out a little bit about my inner strength. Praise be to God!
So what did I learn from this experience? We are all such unique and precious individuals. God created us all so different from anyone else and our abilities and body functions are so delicate. Out of everyone who climbed up, I would say that I was the most “experienced” of the group. This mountain was number 9 for me lifetime (I’m from Manitoba remember). And yet I battled so hard in all of who I am to decide whether to push on or not. My good friend Kelton is from sea-level, Florida and he climbed the mountain with ease and beat the next closest person by at least a half hour. We are all so different in the way God created each and everyone of us. When we think we have it all together we don’t! And when we feel inadequate and apprehensive we have all the strength we need in Christ. I was at both of those extremes on this trek. I saw how little I trusted in the Lord and so much in my “abilities” and it cost me. Yet the victory in literally dying to my own gifts and strengths to be filled with the Lord’s strength to have enough to make it through.
Lastly I was brought back to the reality of taking one step at a time. No matter how fast we take running steps or how careful we take those small steps we still have to take one at a time. I know I try to look ahead to more and not see the rock in front of my face that will trip me. This climb took me from gripping the cliff edge to keep my balance to climbing 15 steps and taking a 30 second breather. The more I tried to push ahead, the more tired and weary I became. The more I looked up at the top, the more discouraged I became. But when I looked at each step in front of me or even the next ridge, I was at peace with each accomplishment.
I have a hard time sometimes looking at the end of this journey of the World Race. I look at what opportunities lay ahead. I look at what I want to do with this new faith I’m going to have. But it’s a huge distraction at the challenge right in front of me. I need to press in to the journey at hand and not the celebration at the peak. I’m learning what it means to strive for that cross. To get to that mountain top and rejoice in that victory. I’m always challenged of what it means to have the cross as my goal! And to not only stand victorious in front of it, but kneel down at it’s base!!
