I’ve been a believer for most of my life! I did the things I was supposed to do and I tried to refrain from things I knew were wrong. I’ve lived a life of trying to follow the rules, do the things Christians do, and stay away from things Christians aren’t supposed to do. I have learned from 2 months on the Race has been that being a “believer” is what the devil wants me to be. Satan knows that I know there is a God and that I am but dust and ashes in the realm of the Almighty. And so Satan is fine with me believing in Jesus’ sacrifice for my sins and then return to living my life full of deceit, selfishness, and idols. He wants me to say the prayer of repentance and feel like I am saved from eternal damnation. To make me think I’m saved and then go on as I always have.
Christ says, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.” (Luke 9:23-24)
And so, I have tried to save my own life by praying a prayer of repentance to escape going to hell and of course held on to my old lifestyle to be comfortable. But if I am to lose my life to save it that means I have to daily give up my plans, my ambitions, and my agenda. Losing my life doesn’t mean giving up a piece of it. You can’t partially die. You are either dead or alive. And so if I want to live I have to lose my life. That means to die to myself.
I will admit that it hasn’t been easy. I have thought about the wonderful things I could be doing at home. I want more food than I get sometimes, and I wish I wasn’t so hot all the time here in the jungle. But the reality is that when I give all of my comforts up, the Lord has blessed me. I’ve been able to meet people that I never would have back in Canada. I would never have been able to share Jesus’ love to His precious children if I wasn’t obedient. And I wouldn’t have experienced all the amazing things like soccer and floating down the Amazon River if I hadn’t given up my life.
Taking up my cross daily has been the first thing on my mind these days. I’m excited for what lies ahead each and every day. I’m by far free from complaining in my mind and I’m far from perfect in being obedient all of the time. I’m learning. Please pray for me to continue to lay down my earthly wants and needs that get in the way of what the Lord is really doing here. I wouldn’t want any other life than the one in Christ! So here I go another day….as a Christ follower!!
