I am sitting here in the room they have prepared for me. Its bigger than I thought, considering I was mentally preparing for a hut in the mountains, I suppose hot showers and beds are a wonderful surprise. Surprise is probably a misnomer because there is nothing but surprises on the World Race. Therefore by definition, there are no surprises, there is only life. I guess, in a very real sense that is how it always is, whether in the mountains of china or in the cities of America, there are no surprises, only life. If the only constant is life, is change, then surprises are life.
Surprise, I’m working with special needs kids in an orphanage. This wreaks of nobility. And if I’m honest, the thought has crossed my mind of how this story will sound when eloquently delivered at a dinner party. This thought does not wreak of nobility. Truth be told, I struggle around people who are handicapped. Maybe it touches some fear, or deep misunderstanding about things I can not explain, or maybe it seems to be in the face of the sovereignty of God. Its possibly all three and more, but I just know that I have always avoided the subject, and interaction. I always feel queasy when I am around them. I’m embarrassed to admit that. It sound terrible, and I hate that about myself, but its true. So the Lord saw fit to place me in a house with 11 precious sons and daughters of which I do not understand. None walk, all crawl around the house.
Today at lunch, while sitting down with them to eat, I lost my appetite. I just asked, “Jesus let me see them as you do.” Which spurred a conversation between Dusty Dills and I. He said, “how does somebody like this process salvation?” Without reflection, I quickly responded, “Not cognitively.” Then we both sat there with our own thoughts. How much of salvation is cognitive? He told me a story about a boy who was severely autistic. He grabbed both his parents hands in worship and raised them. Then he laid in the alter and cried. He can’t speak of the event.
Can we see with our hearts? Can we hear with out hearts? I want to learn how.
