Gods love for me is something I read and hear about all of the time. However, I don’t understand even the most basic of verses on Love.
John 3:16- For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.
It wasn’t until just the other day that I fully understood what this verse means and the depth of love, God has for me.
We are teaching at a school this month in Cambodia and I am teaching Pre-K. From day one there was one little boy that caught my eye named “Steve”. He was very disruptive, aggressive, and unwilling to listen to any authority. Every time I tried to talk to him and get to know him he would yell “NO NO NO NO NO NO!” and wag his finger at me only to run the opposite direction.
One day, during class, I was teaching up front. I asked the class various questions about the body and expected them to answer. “Steve” was sitting in the front row quietly with his head down. It was clear he was having a bad day for some reason. I asked the question “Class, what part of the body do we smell with?” Nobody answered and I asked again. After I asked the second time I noticed “Steve” mouthing the words “Nose”
I smiled at him and beckoned for him to say it louder and he retreated back into the comfort of his folded arms and didn’t look at me the rest of class. I had both a sense of pride and sorrow at the same time. I was proud that he had such a gift to learn what I was teaching so quickly, but I felt sorrow that he wanted to hide that and didn’t trust me when I told him it was ok.
Weeks had gone by fighting him every step of the way until he finally had a breakthrough.
“Class how do you spell red?” I asked.
“Red R-E-D Red”
“Good Job, how do you spell purple?” I asked this question knowing nobody in the class but “Steve” knew the answer.
For a moment there was silence and you could hear a pin drop. Than out of the silence came the sweet little voice of “Steve”
“P-U-R-P-L-E purple”
I looked down at him with what was sure to be the biggest smile he had ever seen, and he reciprocated it back with an honest little grin. I immediately got down on my knees, looked him in the eye, and told him, “You are so smart! Great Job Bud!” He gave me a high five and then looked back to the board ready for more.
Each day is a challenge with him. Some days are better than all of the ones previous and some are just like the beginning of the month. But when he has those days I make sure to tell him how smart he is and how much we love him. He doesn’t always change his attitude but, now he receives the compliment and fully believes it. We pour into these kids and tell them how special and loved they are but it’s up to them to believe it. “Steve” listens to me when I tell him how much I love him and how special he is.
“I love you teacher Mason.”
“I love you “Steve”.”
“I know.” As he grins and laughs.
My relationship with God is pretty much the same way. He tells me over and over again I am worth it and his love for me is sufficient. It took a 5 year old boy who spoke minimal english to show me the love of an everlasting God.
I was reading John 3:16 again after “Steve’s” breakthrough and it all made sense on much deeper level than before. It has always been a bible verses I memorized in bible school as a kid and understood at a surface level. Now I am able to see it through the lens of God and what the verse really means.
Why do I love “Steve” so much?
From day one he has been the one that makes every day harder. But, I have seen small glimpses of what he has to offer and what greatness lies inside of him that has yet to be brought to light. From the day of my birth I have made I love him because he doesn’t understand love. He doesn’t know what it means to have somebody constantly telling you,“You are a good boy. I love you Bud, Great Job.” I love him because the good out weighs the bad tenfold. I love him because of how incredibly special he is.
God loves me because he created me and knows the power that lives inside of me. He has seen it in the small moments where I reflect his glory and love. He loves me so much and wants me to see myself the way he does.
Why do I pour out my time and energy on him?
I do this because it is what is necessary. He doesn’t deserve anything I give him. From day one he has made everything harder and he knows that. But, by giving him more than he deserves it can only leave one reason, love. By giving him an abundance of what he needs or deserves it leaves no room for question that I love him and think of him as worth it.
God sent his son to die for me so that I would understand what I am worth and how much I am loved. I am worth more than my mistakes and I am worth him sending his own son to die for me.
How can believing what I say make “Steve” step into being wonderful, loved, and great?
I have seen what he has to offer and the incredible impact that could have on not only others but himself. He doesn’t believe what he has to offer is good enough and therefore feels unworthy, unloved, and not good enough. What I have seen is the truth, that he is worthy, loved, and special.
By stepping into the truth of who I am, who God created me to be, I am living my life how he intended me to live it. This is a life of love, grace, and joy that leads to eternal life with him forever.
God’s word wasn’t intended for us to read like a history or fantasy book. It was intended for us to read and than look for the ways each verse applies to our own life. God loves me so that I can in turn love. He loves me more than I could possibly love others, but when I find those moments to better understand his love, it becomes much more satisfying to know I am directly mirroring his love in my life. I am not God but I am loved by God and created in his own image. I love because he first loved me.
