Not quite the title that I wanted to be typing out going into my second month of the race. Still hurts a little thinking about its neck snapped but there was nothing that could have been done. Life is one crazy turn of events after another while on the race. The way that you react to those crazy events is what is going to effect your race and the people around you.
If you don’t know the story of how I got my guitar, Haneul, it is a pretty cool story of provision. I was praying about what to do next after my contract as a teacher was up in Korea. I had a bunch of different options but World Race came up and I was interested. I was reading through the blogs, watching videos, and researching for about 8 hours one day. That night I went home and I started to pray about it. I knew in my heart that I really wanted to do worship in missions. I started to pray, “God, if I need to learn a new instrument to build my worship more as I travel, I will need help getting that instrument.” Whether it be financially or dropping an instrument in my lap, I needed confirmation from God that I would be doing worship in missions in the future. The next two weeks I had weird confirmation about World Race. A representative of World Race came to our church in Korea to talk, I met someone who had done world race in a random restaurant in Seoul, and the biggest confirmation was winning a guitar in a raffle.
After Sunday church service, I had choir practice with my Camarata family and that day we just so happened to have a bunch of things up for raffle tickets. I was looking at all the merchandise that was up for grabs and low and behold on the last table was a guitar with a case, strings, picks, and a cable. This literally came with everything that you would need as a beginner on guitar. My heart started racing as I stood there starring at this beautiful guitar. I bought 20 tickets for the raffle and put in 18 of the tickets. I didn’t want to seem too desperate and the jar for the guitar was overflowing with tickets. It was a hot item for good reason. As we started going through the items one by one I got more and more anxious about winning this guitar. I never really win raffles and I don’t really expect to win them either. My ticket wasn’t drawn for the two other items I put tickets into so I started to lose heart. The time came for the ticket to be drawn for the guitar. As they started talking about the guitar and going over who donated and blah blah blah, I was praying. The prayer I said effects the way that learn on my guitar, it effects the songs I choose to play on it, and it effects the destiny it had with me. “Lord if I win this guitar, I promise to learn nothing but worship songs on it and I promise to use it only to bring glory to you.” After saying that prayer under my breath, the ticket was drawn. I starred at the 18 tickets I had in my hand and my heart was literally about to burst with excitement. With each number being called my eyes got bigger on a ticket that was matching up. As the last three numbers were being called I felt my eyes well up with tears. Of course they built up the anticipation by stopping every once and a while between the last two numbers since the jar was so full. A sick joke for my poor little heart. When they called the last number I could not hold in the scream that was sitting in my throat for the last few numbers and jumped out of my seat. I seriously could not believe that they called out every number on one of the tickets that I held in my hand. My legs were shaking as I walked up to the stage to confirm that all of the numbers matched. This was literally a tangible gift from God, an answered prayer with a physical thing that I had asked for. I carried my guitar home on the bus and felt super cool with it on my back. Like, “yea, I’m a musician” look on my face.
I look back on that day a lot because I felt like that was the first time that God had given me a tangible gift that I could hold as an answered prayer. It was like He couldn’t make it any clearer that I was going to do worship in missions. I tried to practice every night, every night turned into every other night, every other night turned into once a week, and then into once a month. I lost focus on why I won that guitar after I told God that I wasn’t doing world race right after Korea. I was given a new opportunity in Seattle, WA so I decided to go and see what God had for me there. I thought I was going there to grow more in my worship so I expected to push myself and practice my guitar all the time. Unfortunately, my guitar sat in it’s case for most of the year and a half that I was there. When I finally said yes to World Race, I really debated bringing Haneul on the race. I didn’t know many songs, I didn’t want to deal with all the airport procedures, and I just didn’t know what kind of environments I would be bringing my guitar into. At training camp, I was telling one of my squad mates of how I had won the guitar and he challenged me to bring my guitar with me. It honestly reminded me of why I had won Haneul and for who learning guitar was for. This was not for my benefit but for worshiping God and saying thank you to the one who gave me the beautiful gift. Who am I to complain about caring around a gift that was given to me specifically by my Heavenly Father? So, I practiced hard leading up to the race. I started learning more songs, I tried to practice almost every morning, and when I took Haneul to Australia, I saw the benefits of bringing a guitar on the race. Others who didn’t have a guitar, could use her in their time of worship and I was gaining confidence in my strumming and singing. It’s really not as easy as it looks to strum and sing at the same time. I was trying to practice as much as I could and I had a chance to lead worship with her for the first time. Someone else was playing my guitar but, I did get to sing with her in a time of worship on Wednesday, February 7th.
That next morning I had some time of worship by myself just practicing the songs I knew and making sure I could transition my fingers without looking at the fret board. It was a good time of worship by myself before a day of fasting for my team and I. We were fasting and praying about our time and ministry in Indonesia before we left the next day. It was a rough day for me, but I had a weird peace about the day going into an event that we had that night. We served pancakes and Chai tea for free in the park in Byron Bay for anyone who wanted to come and chat. Some of the best conversations and relationships were started there during our time in Australia. We had live music at the event played by some of my talented squad mates. They needed another guitar so Haneul had her live debut at the pancakes and Chai events. Well, long story short: guitar strap broke, neck hit a wooden bench, neck of guitar snapped, person I entrusted it to completely in shock. I had no idea what happened until someone came and told me right before she had to go on stage. Oddly enough, I had peace about the whole situation. I knew coming on World Race that I got this guitar for free so I felt like I needed to be okay with if I needed to give it away or it broke for some reason. It was a gift that I had to be okay with giving away. Things happen that are really out of your control and you have to focus on who is in control of your life. As I was being told that my guitar was in two piece, all I could keep thinking about was how I had prepared for this moment. Was I expecting to lose my guitar in the first month? Heck no! Could this broken guitar lead to another relationship in Indonesia? Maybe! You have to choose to find joy in some situations. It’s okay to feel sad or angry or frustrated but believe that something better will come along.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
We have to know in our hearts that God works for the good in our lives. Don’t get stuck in the bad day or bad relationship. Step out of the isolation, doubt, confusion, and underestimation of who you are. You are created for so much more and I encourage you to look for the greater things that God is working out for you in your life. Bad things will happen, but good things are always there too.
Later that night, I had a great conversation with a couple traveling around Australia and I was inspired by them. They had such big hearts and loved each other so much. We exchanged blog info and I hope to continue to follow their journey. I was also able to give away a Bible that I had with me. I bought a Bible in the states to give away to someone who needed it while on the race. I saw it in my bag when I left for pancakes and almost took it out but randomly decided to keep it in my bag. Someone was asking around if anyone had a Bible and I happened to have mine. I met TJ who had accepted Jesus in her heart that night and was eager to start reading the Bible. I was able to write a note to her in the front of the Bible and tell her what a beautiful daughter of God she was. The front of the Bible said joy and I could see that she had such a heart of joy. After everything that had happened that night, the conversations I had and the chance to give that Bible to my new sister in Christ far outshined the broken guitar. So, as I carry around broken Haneul for a while it stands as a reminder that I am blessed far more than I can see in the moment right now. Who knows what opportunity this blessed guitar will bring next.
