I have always looked forward to New Years. It’s fun to celebrate going into a new year partying with your friends or family and watching people around the world celebrating together. After staying up and then entering that new year on January 1st, it feels like a new start. People start to set resolutions and start them strong in those first few weeks in January. I used to be one of those people that would set at least 3 resolutions for the new year. But, I changed that mentality going into 2015. I was never great at keeping up with those resolutions and it would just lead to disappointment in myself for not trying hard enough. So, I started to name each year with a word that I wanted to focus on. 2015 was my year of passion, I focused on music and dance to build on my passion for the stage and living life passionately. 2016 was my year of light, I wanted to be a light to the world and use my talents to help that light reach farther. 2017 was my year of growth, I focused on growth in my relationship with God and grow in who I was created to be. After celebrating bringing in the new year, I sat on the couch as everyone went to bed and started to think about what this next year was going to be like. I started to go through all of my squad mates blogs and scrolling through our facebook page. I felt an overwhelming excitement and love come into my heart for this family that I am about to spend 11 months with. So, I sat there and started to search for a word that I wanted to focus on going into 2018.
To be honest, I have felt like I wasn’t really focusing on getting ready for World Race. I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that I have said yes to doing this and I am ACTUALLY DOING IT. It probably won’t hit me until I am on the plane to Australia. But, getting ready for World Race is so much more than just buying all of the gear you’ll need for the year and raising the funds you need. There is a spiritual and mental aspect of it as well. And I felt like I hadn’t ever just sat down and thought about what was about to happen on this year long adventure. You know how you do all this preparation but you just don’t slow down and focus on what you are preparing for? I felt like that was what I had done to myself these past two months after training camp. I had my usual quiet time and started reading more books about mission work. But, I wasn’t looking at my own experience, I was reading about others. I wasn’t thinking about what I thought God wanted to reveal to me through this experience. I am definitely one of those people that likes to stay busy and that is exactly what I did to myself. Focusing on work, fundraising, closing contracts, selling things, and moving out of Washington. Another thing is, I hate saying goodbye to people. I knew back in June that I would have to say goodbye to a lot of people in December but when December came I became that person that kind of pushed people away to make the goodbyes easier. It’s not necessarily the easiest thing on your heart and you almost become lonely. It’s not a fun place to be but I have been there before when I left Korea. I really had to talk myself out of that mentality of seclusion and even tell some of my closest friends I was just ready to go because I hated this prolonged goodbye. The seclusion wasn’t just with my friends in Washington, but it was with my squad mates as well. I stayed away from our Facebook page, didn’t check the group chat, and stopped posting on the Snapchat group. I blamed it on the fact that I was busy but there was more to it.
This transition into the new year has been pretty hard for me. Letting go of everything I had in Washington and holding onto what little information I had going into this new adventure. I felt like my open hands in surrender were empty. But, my hands needed to be empty to embrace all of the new things to come in 2018.
As I sat there on the couch, 1am on January 1st, I started to pray for my squad, my team, my leaders, the countries that we were going to, and the people we were going to meet. I finally felt my heart feel both at ease and full of excitement for what’s to come. I had gotten that feeling every once in while, but this time it was different. Knowing that it was officially 2018 and I was really about to embark on this adventure I had said no to on 2 different occasions. When I was praying about if I should do World Race this past year, there was a night that I was sitting on a pier in Washington by myself just talking to God. There were people walking by and friends laughing sitting on the beach enjoying the beautiful night. I started to get really jealous of that group of friends. I started to think about their lives and how they are probably living comfortably and have lived in Washington for a while. They had a great group of friends that lived near each other that they could reach out to and go out to dinner with or coffee with whenever they wanted. I just started to get jealous of the comfortable life that some people get to live. I wanted that too and I started begging for it on that dock at Houghton beach. I begged God to let me stay in one place, start a solid job, start a family, and just live an ordinary life. I kept repeating,”Why can’t I just live an ordinary life?” Clear as day I heard,”Because you are extraordinary.” I stopped crying and looked around in fear that someone had literally whispered in my ear. It was clear to me in that moment that I was not called to a life of ordinary. Maybe that will come in the future, but for now I need to look forward to an extraordinary life. Therefore, I am naming 2018 Mary’s year of extraordinary. I have never used such a big word for my yearly titles. This year will be nothing short of extraordinary and I believe that with my whole heart. I will give extraordinary love, have extraordinary experiences, fall in love with the extraordinary person God has created me to be, and grow in my extraordinary relationship with Jesus. I want to embrace this extraordinary life that God has given me and not settle for less. If I am called somewhere new after this adventure, I want to continue to be willing to listen. Even if my life makes no sense to those around me, it all comes together to create my story and my story is extraordinary.
