“I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel – not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed. As we have said before, so now I say again: If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed.
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
(Galatians 1:6-10)
A youth pastor shared that last verse with all the students of my grade last year when I was a junior in high school. He told us to commit it to memory, to put it on our bedside table, to say it aloud every morning as we prepared for the day ahead – and I did. Yet, after months of doing this, I still find myself battling desperately with my flesh over it every single day, and more often than I’d like to admit failing quite miserably at it.
Though this struggle primarily affects my daily life, conversations, and relationships, it is certainly not limited to them. I’m sure you have noticed that I have not posted much lately, or, rather, at all. That is primarily due to this particular dilemma – please God or please people. (The fact that this is even a dilemma for me shows my spiritual immaturity, and this is not me being self-deprecating but merely calling something for what it is. This is a place in which I need a significant amount of growth. I wholeheartedly acknowledge that and, though I am ashamed of it, trust that the Lord is not finished with me yet [Philippians 1:6]).
If I write what people want to hear, instead of what I have learned and what God has placed on my heart, then perhaps I do not deserve to go on this trip in the first place (Though, I don’t deserve anything, anyways. Nobody owes me anything, especially not one so wonderfully Holy as God. What I mean is exactly what the verse says – If this were my goal, to please people, that means that I am not a servant of Christ. Therefore, why would He then entrust to me, someone who is not His servant nor seeking to please Him, His work?)
However, if I do write with the sole intention to please God (just so we’re clear, it is an impossibility for a person to please God perfectly and completely as He deserves. What I mean is that my goal is to please Him, not people), then it is very likely, in this frankly delicate age, to lose readership and therefore donations. How cowardly of me to even think that way! More accurately – If I am truly writing with the intention to please God alone, and if His plan for me truly is for me to go on this mission, then He will make a way, end of story. And who in the world am I to limit His power in any way or place it in the hands of men? (Don’t get me wrong, I am more than grateful for every single person who has shown me support, more grateful than I can express. But no matter what, my allegiance has to be to God and Him alone).
The fact that this was going to be a struggle with friends and family was always a given (Luke 12:51-53; Luke 14:26), but the fact that I often find it difficult to have conversations about certain parts of the Bible with those who claim to be Christians or even just with “The Church” in general truly troubles me. 2 Timothy 3:16 says that “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work” (emphasis mine). So, why do I even get the feeling as if certain parts of the Bible are forbidden to talk about around certain people?
It grieves my heart for some of the people in my life around whom I find it difficult to talk about the things of God, but it grieves me even more that I fail to do so anyways. To me, it is nothing less than the sin of Peter committed daily. It is fear. It is, at the heart, no different than the sin which caused the fall of Lucifer himself. It is pride.
It is important to understand, however, that this is not some sort of legalism that I am forcing upon myself. I desire to talk about Him. Oh, how I do! And my heart aches within me every time I do not! But how true were the words of Paul when he said in Romans 7:19, “For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing” (emphasis mine).
Also, don’t mistake what I mean when I say I am not seeking to please people. That does not at all mean that I am seeking to displease people. I am not purposefully trying to make people offended or uncomfortable. I am simply wanting to speak about God, candidly and truthfully, not beating around the bush or tiptoeing around people because what I have to say is potentially hard to hear (which, by the way, is loving, because Jesus Himself did it [John 6:60-64]). I want no hindrances in my sharing of what He is doing in my life and in those around me because I am afraid of how people will view me or what they will say about me. No one deserves that kind of power over my life except Jesus Christ.
I pray that this post will hold me accountable, and though I continue to struggle and know that I will continue to struggle, all the time I see Him pushing me a little further, sometimes in baby steps, sometimes in huge ones (to me, not to Him) which I would never have been able to take out of my own strength. I often view my faith very much like the legs of a newborn deer, and if it were not for the steady hand of His steadfast Love and Grace upholding me, it would buckle under me, sending me face-first straight into the ground. Therefore,
To Him be all the Glory!
With all Love and Sincerity,
Mary
(Also, I love a good discussion! If you ever disagree with me or simply want to discuss something, please feel free to message me on Facebook, email me, or comment!)
