Hey blog,
The race has been so so cool and so so hard at the exact time. It can be super overwhelming but MAN am I learning SO MUCH!! I’ve been here almost a month now and honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever grown so much in such a short amount of time. Sometimes I just think to myself, “what will I be like, think like, speak like, in a week? a month? a year?”.
The Lord has been teaching me so much on topics such as forgiveness, grace, shame, healing, miracles, rest and so much more but weaved through all of them is the lesson that I DON”T KNOW ANYTHING, and I love it.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a really hard thing to learn. But the gift is that when we don’t know anything, we get to run to the One who knows EVERYTHING!! Like?!! We actually get to do that thanks to the grace of Jesus. wow.
All my life I have been very stubborn and always thought my way was the best way. Here, that mindset is basically impossible. I thought to myself that “the Lord’s way is the best way” but didn’t actually take that to heart and live it out. That mindset has really stunted my faith. Coming to the race, I set a lot of expectations. Expectations for myself, my team, my squad, my days, pretty much everything. I mean, I’ve been looking forward to it almost a year so it’s impossible to not have those expectations. But as the Lord slowly, and patiently, loosened my gripped hands to be open to His way, His plans for the race, His goodness, I learned I had to let my expectations go. That sucked because I had to realize what I wanted so bad was not for my good! But thanks be to God that His plan is always better and works for our good.
Surrender is a big topic here, because it’s a big topic in the Bible. When Jesus calls His disciples, he calls them to leave everything behind and follow Him. While God cares about our wants and desires, He cares more about our heart and well being. Sometimes what we want, what we think is for our good, it actually leading to sin and death. He’s a good Father and can’t allow that, so sometimes His way doesn’t match our way and it takes a minute to realize that different isn’t bad, but it’s life giving.
I’m learning to surrender my home and know that the Lord’s heart is my home. Learning to surrender my expectations and know the Lord always has better. Learning to surrender my past and know that God has made me new. Learning to surrender my control and know that I never had it in the first place. Learning to surrender my hard-heart and know the Lord will protect me. Man, learning to surrender a lot. It feels really scary, but I am always met with His promises which are so much better than anything I’ve “given up”.
What are you clinging to? What expectations of yours haven’t been met? How are they being met differently? What is the Lord asking you to surrender? What is He promising in return?
Food for thought.
Thanks for reading!
