I have seen “myself” more so during the last two months of the race than all the other months. In some ways I should be excited or comforted, but instead I feel the opposite: I avoid and even get nervous. Let me explain.
Imagine you are boarding a South West flight where your seats aren’t numbered and you can sit wherever. There are a number of people already on the plane. How would you decide where to sit? This example and experiment was presented to us when I was in cultural training for an internship two summers ago. Generally speaking, in these kinds of scenarios, we tend to flock to people who are similar to us demographically. I think part of it is human nature. It make sense that we flock to what looks or feels familiar. The other part is bias, and it limits us from perspective and understanding new peoples and things. If we are not aware of these mechanisms, it can create implicit bias and other problems.
I think about this example a lot and try to be as self aware as I can in diversifying my perspective. I want to make sure that I don’t always flock to people and experiences that are the most similar to me or share my perspective. Recently, I have been noticing that the exact opposite has been happening to me. I avoid my own demographic: Westerners who come from a good economic background.
These are the people that….
- I avoid asking to join us in church
- I avoid asking for directions
- I avoid sharing the gospel to
- I avoid eye contact when we do Bible distribution because…
More often than not, they are the ones who….
- Aren’t interested in faith conversations
- Think its crazy if my team asks to pray for them
- Maintain a more judgmental mindset
- Look at our team like we are insane during Bible distribution
America. I am excited to come back to America. One of our hosts said that “God gives us a special heart for our homeland first.” I can see how it’s true. I miss our culture of individualism. I miss how industrious we are. I miss great cornfields. I miss an abundance of toilet paper and not having to pay for bathrooms! I miss a lot of American food and clothing. I miss holidays and seasons. I miss our rich diversity. I miss sports and the excitement that comes with it. I miss the spirit of dreaming big. I miss a lot of things. But when I get back to America, there are going to be a lot of things that I miss from my time in the “third world.”
Hospitality
My squad and I have done hundreds of home visits across 3 continents and 11 different cultures. NEVER WAS I EVER TURNED AWAY. I MEAN NEVER. In month one, I remember planning with my team the order of how we were going to take turns during our initial Bible distribution day. Each of us would pause and prepare ourselves as we knocked on doors, holding our breaths for some to come out angry or upset. It never happened. Not once. Here in month 11, we always start out the same way. We are still a little intimidated, nervous for how people will react, but consistently we are welcomed warmly by those we meet whether they are actually excited to speak with us or not. Even when people are busy or on their way to work, they make a point to show hospitality and speak with us for as long as they can.
I’m not from your country. You have no reason to accept me, yet you welcome me with grace and thankfulness. But if you were to come to my country and do the same thing, I can’t imagine what people would think or say.
When I did door to door evangelism for training camp back in the States or sales for my job, I often got yelled at. People had nasty signs on their door. One time I had to talk to a doorbell. I felt degraded when that happened. That is me- just another young, college-aged, middle class American girl in neighborhood where she fits the mold. What if a man from Zambia with broken English showed up at your door to talk about faith? What if a fierce, yet loving, Indonesian woman dressed in traditional clothing wanted to gift you and your home a Bible? It breaks my heart to think about how they would be treated in our country after they always show foreigners great hospitality in their own countries.
“The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt” Leviticus 19:33
We have lost our sense of hospitality.
I love that any tiny home or metal shack I visited in Central America pulled out dirty plastic lawn chairs for everyone to sit in.
I love that in Malawi, we were often greeted with tea and smiles.
I love that guests were seen as an honor in Zambia because it made people feel seen.
I love that even in countries where little to nothing is known about Christ, they still love to talk about faith and religion.
I miss that people consider prayer a blessing.
“Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling” 1 Peter 4:9
Freedom
Some of my friends have worked with underground churches. I have seen the devastation of governments who want to take land from their people. I have lived in nations where it is illegal to evangelize. I have heard stories of people who went missing for how active they were in their faith. I have handed out Bibles to people in closed nations. I have met people who live without economic freedom because of the government or destructive foreign aid or the poverty mindset. I have visited communities where the government does not protect its people. I have lived in countries where you could be stoned or taken to jail for being gay.
“Pray for us that the message of the Lord may spread rapidly and be honored, just as it was with you.” 2 Thessalonians 3:1
Legally and institutionally, the United States might be the most “free” nation in the world, yet we bind ourselves in chains culturally. I, and many of my teammates would agree, that it has been easier to talk about faith in countries that aren’t Christian, where its illegal to “evangelize,” than in our home country. Even though God IS EVERYTHING and he is WORTHY OF EVERYTHING, we say its annoying to about him. When did salvation, the true meaning of life, and your significance as a human being become cheesy? Somewhere along the way our culture decided adopt that mindset. We tip toe around the name Jesus. The name who heals and makes demons flee. I have seen these things with my own eyes, and yet we are nervous to say it out loud. We speak of miracles as if they are for crazy people. Prayer? It might change lives, change your world, and bring honor to the creator of all things, but we refer to it as awkward. These mentalities don’t just apply to the secular sphere, it happens among Christians and Christian communities as well. It makes me sad.
We say don’t talk bout money, religion, or politics, yet those are the things that make our world turn.
This month, our team lives on a Hindu island inside of a Muslim nation. Yet, even when we talk with people who are Hindu and ask to pray for them, they get so excited. When we pray for one person, others ASK US TO PRAY FOR THEM TOO. If you were to do this in the States people would look at you like you are weird or crazy. Here, they look at it as honoring, even if they don’t understand what we are doing.
In fact, I have found most people don’t want to talk about faith at all. Of course, conversations should happen in a respectful way. There is a right and wrong way as well as right and wrong motives. However, rather than counting it as a blessing, people actually get offended. Many locals I have met have even said “America is a land where people like to sue and everyone gets offended by everything.”
“They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity- for ‘people are slaves to whatever has mastered them.’” 2 Peter 2:19
Double Standards
We often are double standards, saying that we support one thing and then cut it down when we see it.
We say that young people should be involved in politics then scream or hangup on them when they partake in actual civic/campaign activities.
We say we want to fight poverty yet get angry with salesmen just trying to do their job.
We say that people should stand up for what they believe in. Then when they speak their opinion, we say they shouldn’t have one.
We say technology is ruining relationships and then get mad when people do things the old fashioned way and show up at your door or talk to your face.
Some sins we judge hard and take up our arms to fight, while others we simply pass off.
“Do not accuse anyone for no reason- when they have done you no harm” Proverbs 3:30
We often define being open minded as a specific conclusion and not a means to that conclusion.
Being open minded is about the process of reaching a conclusion. It is about being open to evidence and genuinely considering different perspectives before making a choice. We often say that being open minded is reaching the conclusion that it doesn’t matter or that everything is okay and correct. That we can’t have an opinion unless it means everything is okay or that we shouldn’t stand up for things we feel convicted about. We also tend to think that this opinion is “amoral” or without taking a moral stance, when in fact it does.
Busy-ness
My team will advocate that I love to be busy. This is one of the things I miss the most from my American life and in a number of ways I think many cultures we visited can learn from the industriousness of America. However, as I move forward in life, I hope to never be too busy for a meaningful conversation, to notice someone who goes unnoticed in society, or to have good hospitality. Busyness in America has become a way of life and an excuse. You don’t want to take the time to talk to someone or have inter-personal interaction? Especially with someone you don’t know or isn’t like you? We default to being busy. We are numb to how busy we are, and a lot of the time I don’t think that we are even that busy, we are just great at filling our time with mindless activity.
We say we don’t have time to volunteer, but how many hours do we spend on Netflix?
We say we don’t have time to “evangelize” or tell people about Jesus, but when was the last time you talked to someone or was present while waiting in a public space rather than staring at you phone screen?
We say we don’t have time to intercede, but how often are our thoughts directed toward the father and/or are about other people rather than just ourselves.
“‘You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?’ declares the Lord Almighty. Because of my house which remains in a ruin, while each of you is busy with your own house.” Haggai 1:9
I have also noticed less judgement during my time abroad. Of course, I’m not actually a local. I don’t speak the language, and I am not attuned to body language in the same way. However, I never feel that I have to look perfect or act perfect. Yes there is comparison, but its not the same as in America. I never feel like I have to perform a certain way to be accepted. I don’t see it as strongly with those who I have gotten to know either. Its interesting to me that much more of the world focuses on practicality than appearance like we do in the States.
*** I did not include disclaimers throughout for the sake of getting my point across. I understand that these concerns do not represent each specific person America. As I stated earlier, I love my country and I love its people. It is for this reason that these themes in our culture deeply sadden me.
I think the biggest way to understand your own culture is to leave it. I learned so much about America as well as how I operate in it after I left the paradigm of our own thought. If you haven’t traveled abroad I suggest you do too. And when you travel- dive into culture. Let it teach you something about who God is. Do hard things and try new things. Use the challenge to draw you closer to God. Talk to locals. See God in their kindness and hospitality. Go beyond the resorts to the spots where there is no one that looks like you or talks like you. Ask God about the injustice and pain in the world. See the community for what it is worth outside of a tourist trap.
And for those of you reading this… thank you for following my journey! Thank you for choosing to come alongside of me in this pursuit. Thank you for the prayers and financial gifts that really made this year a reality. Thank you for choosing to let God use us in partnering to build his kingdom across the globe. Although this weekend may be filled with a lot of tears as we leave our K-squad family and friends abroad, I am SO EXCITED for what’s next! Click here https://marykorch.theglobalu.org/ to follow my over the next year!
