Pursue: (verb)
•persistently seek
•follow or chase
•go or come after (a person or thing)
As humans, we fall into this trap of always wanting to be pursued and have things handed to us (sometimes even, on silver platters).
During Month 1 debrief, one of the squad leaders challenged me to step outside of my comfort zone. With it being all squad month, the challenge was to have 2 one-on-ones a week with people not on my team (think coffee dates minus the coffee). I was intimidated yet being overzealous and always pushing myself to do more, I told myself I would try and have a one-on-one with every person on the squad…that’s almost 50 people in a month.
Toward the end of the month, I realized how exhausted I was…in every way possible. this side of me that I tried so hard to push back came rearing its ugly head. I felt like I was pursuing others and no one was pursuing me or being like “hey, wanna grab coffee or breakfast or something?”
It was in that pitty party I had for myself that I realized:
I am pursued by the Lord…the God of the universe seeks me out persistently every single day yet I don’t notice because I am looking for the next person. When we pursue God, we experience Him pursuing us. It’s easier to notice when we are pursued by people because we can see it…it’s instant gratification. Being pursued by God isn’t as tangible and is very rarely instant…we have to wait and waiting is difficult.
I wrote these next words while sitting in a hammock here in Honduras…and I hope they resonate with you the way they did when I shared them with my team.
Lord, you pursue me.
You run after me in your gentle way,
reminding this heart of your unending love.
Filling my spirit with your presence,
you wreck me in beautiful ways.
You pursue me with your whole being,
yet my mortal soul is blind to your pursual;
longing to be wanted by mere humans.
You chase after me with a gentle wind,
you surround me with a blanket of love;
Yet I sit and wait for strong winds, to be enveloped by a hurricane.
I want to leave you with two questions to sit with and think about for yourself:
Why are we not satisfied by knowing that we are pursued by God? Why do we feel we need to be pursued by another person to feel loved and seen?
