As a musician (one who sings and plays guitar), it is generally expected that I will “lead worship.” This month is no exception. We are working with the Pastor of a church here in Malaysia that specifically reaches out to the Hindu/Indian population. There are a variety of ways that we help- prayer walks, English classes, work at a Christian orphanage, Children’s ministry, and visitations. However, once it became generally known that I play guitar, worship leading became my primary role. I’ve literally done it for the past three days in a row. Don’t get me wrong- it’s wonderful. However, I recently went through a philosophical phase where I didn’t want to “lead worship” at all. Let me share why.
I have trouble with the role of the musician in a church setting as the “leader of worship.” That feels very restrictive to me. Here’s how A.W. Tozer very aptly describes it: “To great sections of the church the art of worship has been lost entirely, and in its place has come that strange and foreign thing called the ‘program.’ This word has been borrowed from the stage and applied with sad wisdom to the type of public service which now passes for worship among us.”
I think that leading a group of people in a couple of songs (not actually very musically creative songs in general) is a very limited view of what worship actually is. I’m confident that the God of the universe should inspire more in us than that. To me, worship should be how we live our lives based on our adoration and desire for glorification of the God who sacrificed his only Son so that we could have a relationship with Him. It’s what we were created for. And, since we are all created so uniquely, shouldn’t a designated worship time look fluid, not rigid? I think that during that time, people should be free to do what they were created to do- glorify their Creator in the specific way that they were designed to.
In the New International Version of the Bible, the word “worship” is used 254 times. In researching for this blog, I tried to find the Greek or Hebrew origin for this word that is featured so much in the Scriptures- both in the Old and New Testaments. If my internet sources are correct, there are many words in both Greek and Hebrew that are loosely translated as “worship” in English with a multitude of connotations. I think that is very beautiful and significant, but also one of the many failings of the English language. But, in general, I think that is a really cool picture of what worship should be- a bunch of people doing different things in different situations, but all still glorifying the same God and doing this thing called worship.
This is one of the reasons I have taken a step back from “leading worship.” I don’t really know what that looks like. If you play music, most people feel obligated to sing along, which might not be how their heart wants to express adoration at that moment. If you don’t, people just sit there awkwardly and stare at each other. Also, as a college educated musician, I can be quite a snob when it comes to music, so I’m also kind of picky about what I play. But most people don’t actually like it if you play songs that are too hard, or that have too many words. Also, if worship means doing what you were specifically designed to do, playing other people’s music isn’t that for me. Writing and creating is what I was created to so. So what does that look like while "leading"? All of these swirling thoughts with no resolution lead me to take a step back for the past two months. I don’t think I touched my guitar once.
And then I got to Malaysia, where I was essentially forced back into worship leadership. It would be dishonoring if I were to refuse to lead worship for philosophical reasons when our wonderfully gracious ministry host asked me to do so. I didn't love it at first, but here’s what I’ve learned. In a country where it is illegal to talk about Jesus, that hour twice a week is really all that congregation gets. The church is the only place where they can freely praise and worship Jesus by name. They sing to the King of Kings with everything that is in them. They pray with a passion that I have never experienced. They love to worship their God through song. After leading worship four times in the past three days, I understand that leading a designated time of worship with a couple of simple songs can be incredibly meaningful.
I don’t have answers to all of the questions that lead me to stop leading worship, but I now know that sometimes that doesn’t matter. I am all about questioning the heart and motivation behind the things that we do in the name of the Lord, and I think that leading worship for Malaysians or similar cultures is very different than leading worship for Americans. However, for now, singing the same songs over and over again is more than enough of an offering for my Creator. I pray that I would be able to worship the Lord with my life half as well as the Malaysian people who I have met so far.
“Redemption is the means; worship is the goal. In one sense, worship is the whole point of everything. It is the purpose of history, the goal of the whole Christian story. Worship is not one segment of the Christian life among others. Worship is the entire Christian life, seen as a priestly offering to God. And when we meet together as a church, our time of worship is not merely a preliminary to something else; rather, it is the whole point of our existence as the body of Christ.” –John Frame
“Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name; worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness.” Psalm 29:2
Getting ready for church in some Indian saris borrowed from out host family.
