I went to a homeless shelter here recently. There was a man who gave his testimony. He used to live here. He was homeless and a drug addict. God set him free. Now he tells his story. Hearing how God set him free just added fuel to the fire of hope in me. Jesus can deliver us from anything. How amazing. We have hope in this world. After going to the shelter and hearing him, I realized even more the important choice I have. To become more like Him. If He is HOPE, the way out of hell on earth, bondage, deadness, then I need to look like Him and allow Him to do what He wants to do. I can feel this desire rising up. I want to reflect Him, for people to see Him when they look at me. Placing myself in His hands to not just chip away the bad, but to give me good things as well. I’m realizing this thing of good things for me equals guilt. Such nonsense, yet believed. As my eyes change to see my daddy rightly, my heart opens to receive these good things. As I’m seeing I can have redemption in my life because of my king, I will be a crazy person out there for Him. The years in a prison, this bird is gonna sing! This school and everything about it, from the classes to the community living is raising me up to go forth.
He’s been opening my heart, restoring my ability to trust, pushing me to show up for my life, meaning wanting life. I’m finding I don’t want to keep hiding away, this is a little unnerving. Don’t really know how to do it, but I guess that’s good right. Restoring my ability to trust others, to want to be a part of the family of God is big. He’s bringing me to life, pushing me out of my walls into openness. It’s new.
At the shelter, some of them had this look in their eyes, waiting for the next hit so they could be lit. Lost in this cloudy haze surrounding them like a maze. There was a guy there who thought he lost his methodone pills in the trash, so he sifted through the filthy bag so fast. This made me think about the things I have tried to find in the trashbag of lies. Sifting through, looking for it, not even realizing the container in which it fit. Addicted I was too, thought I knew, but was really without a clue. I want these people to know there is a way out, even I had a little doubt, but now I know there is something better. HIM.
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