Spring semester 2013, in a college dorm room. In that room sat a girl on the floor, feeling rejected. She couldn’t understand why life had to be this way. Why people had to be so hurtful simply based on her appearance. You see this girl had an eating disorder. It was so sever that you could see every bone in her body. Now she didn’t do it because she thought she was fat, which most people seem to think. She knew she wasn’t. She was stuck in this cycle of starving herself because it was the only way she felt she could control her life. One day the girl looked at herself in the mirror. She was weak and frail. Her eyes were sunken in and her hair was falling out because of malnutrition. She looked like she was dying and the girl realized that if she kept this up, she would die. In that moment she did the only thing she knew how to do in times of helplessness. She called out to God, who heard her. And He saved her alright. I know this because this girl was, and is me.
God said and I say now, I see you Mary. I see you in all the muck that doing life on your own has tried to snare you in. I see you for what you are truly going through, and you know what, I do not reject you. I love you even more because in this brokenness you are finding strength to continue on. You are moving forward. Get ready for the ride of a lifetime.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
I used to think this verse was cliche, but ya’ll God has actually done this in my life! I think back to that dorm room when I thought my situation was hopeless, and look at myself now and see that I am a new person. I may not have prosperity in the “American” sense of the word, but man oh man I am rich. I have a life I could have never imagined, amazing friends, crazy experiences, and life changing opportunities.
The World Race mission trip has always been on my radar. I thought I would be on it in 2016, but God had other plans. He knew that I needed to heal. I needed to heal in order to fully commit myself to serving others, so he brought me to Spain. Now I do not think we are ever done dealing with our ish. God is a God of the processes and discomfort and I am totally okay with that. Truly I can say to you now, that I am much more equipped to go on this race and serve the people of Guatemala, Nicaragua, Panama, Malaysia, Indonesia, the Philippines, Swaziland, Lesotho, South Africa, China, and Mongolia, beginning this October 2017.
I want to go to the people that think their situations are hopeless. I want to see these people and remind them that they are seen and they are loved not only by me, but also their father in heaven. I want to be apart of God’s plan to give these people hope and a future. Will you send me?
