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Why do I miss home?
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If I go home after 6 months what will I miss out on from the race?
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Will I continue to force myself to grow as a Christian and individual if I go home?
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Will I get stuck in the same place I was before I came on the race?
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Why is part of me so set on going home?
These are just a few of the many questions I have been asking myself for a while. Before starting the race in January I had my mind set on 6 months, I don't know if it's because I wonder what I could be doing back home or that I'm scared to stay. I find myself excited about my future after the race to work towards goals in my life back home. By being on the race for just 5 months I have learned so much about myself and I'm the most confident I have ever been in my life.
Looking back on who I was before I can see why I would only want to be on the race for 6 months. After being accepted I remember freaking out and calling AIM to see if I could go on the Passport trip instead because it is shorter than the World Race, but they said I was too old. After hearing that I seriously thought about not going on the race at all but in the end I decided to give it a try.
Once January started getting closer I found myself starting to get scared/worried again. I then came up with the idea that I'll just stay for 6 months of the race. I kept saying to myself it will be a growing experience if I put my all in it and 6 months would be doable.
After having a few talks with a close friend on my squad, Paul, I have started to become more open to accept if I do end up raising the money to stay the entire race. This month, here in Nepal, I've been more open to the thought of finishing the whole 11 months. I know God has great plans for me and I'm willing to do whatever it is that he has in store for me. I truly to believe that if I'm meant to be here the entire race the money will come.
I know either way the outcome might be, whether I'm able to raise the money for the next deadline or not, I will have challenges and room for growth in both. My challenges in going home would be to continue my rediscovered boldness in Christ and continue to have confidence in achieving my goals, without getting back in my “comfort zone”. Then the challenges of staying would be the thought or feeling of missing out on things back home, a few examples are, seeing my new nephew who will be born anytime soon, being there for my nieces 3rd birthday, and growth in business opportunities which will help me achieve goals that I once thought to be impossible. I know these are challenges almost everyone who's on the race and if I'm meant to stay I know I will have people supporting me every step of the way. However, on the positive side of everything I do see growth in staying or going home, and them having great outcomes.
My prayer for myself is to continue to have boldness in whatever the circumstance might be. For those who are reading this please keep me in your prayers. Thank you all for your continued support.
