Officially been back in the U.S. for 3 hours now! But still stuck in the airport while we wait for the rental car situation to be worked out. So why not blog a little bit about this past week in Haiti? On my phone though so it’ll probably be brief.
Where do I even begin though? From the first bus ride from the airport to the mission center, I fell in love with Haiti. The thought “I am falling in love with this place” literally crossed my mind while the bus whizzed through the street. I also thought “It is a miracle no collisions are happening” but for the most part, I just sat there and took it all in.
It was a different experience from last year’s trip to Russia, on so many levels. I can’t write it all out right now, but there were some key enlightening moments into my own heart and character. Good and bad. There was also many reasons for praise and thanks as well as heartache amd tears and questions. Mayhap I will have an opportunity later to share in greater detail about some of those things, but for this post, the main point I want to talk about is the greater excitement I now have for Haiti and each of the countries on my World Race route.
I was already excited, but now even more so. Even while my family and I were in Haiti, I kept thinking, I can’t wait to come back. On the World Race! It’ll obviously be different, and most likely not even in the same area, but that’s part of the excitement, looking forward to getting to know and experience other parts of this country and culture and people.
I still have my fears and doubts, they haven’t magically disappeared. And it is especially hard to cast them off and cling to hope and faith when I am still $800 short of my already-late deadline. Honestly really not sure if I can even go to training camp next week since I need to have $3,500 in my account by Monday, July 7th. And it takes a few days for online donations to process, so point blank, it is looking pretty bleak. And because I was in Haiti and cut off from the outside world for a week, I couldn’t reach out to people and really do anything to raise support. And maybe my mistake in trying to keep it from being a distraction while I was in Haiti on a mission trip and focus on serving and being there, I didn’t really pray about it. I told myself I was not stressing about it and resting in peace and faith, but maybe it was just arrogant complacency.
At this point, I am truly helpless and at God’s mercy. He knows how undeserving of it I am, and He’d be totally justified in withholding it. I can only hope, trust, and pray that He will extend it anyway and be the sure guide of my feet – whether it means pushing back my departure date to January which would honestly suck, or providing the funds to make it to training camp. Please join me in praying, and if the Spirit leads you so, partner with me in giving. I am truly so thankful for and humbled by the generosity I’ve received from surprising sources and anonymous donors who must be angels, and I praise God for you. My prayer is that God will move more hearts to support, because I do not want anyone to be overburdened in any way.
Anyway, bottom line..I think I am at the point where my feet may (or will) fail. And I am sure it will not be the last. But I am also sure that through this situation, God will once again show me how He never fails and how Jesus is the Rock I am to stand on, to keep my feet sure and steady and grounded. Not because I can, but because He is the only ground that lasts and remains and holds. So for better or for worse, I’ve ended up in this place, out of my own folly but in God’s sovereignty, and so I trust that He is still working. No matter how great my doubts or failures or fears, and how deep my inadequacy and iniquity, He is always greater and always present. Please pray for and with my sister and me!! We need all of the prayers we can get. Truly.
Thank You in Jesus <3
