Have you ever experienced a moment of doubt?
Odds are, you have, on multiple occasions I’d bet.
Doubt slowly creeps in without you ever actually realizing it happened. It’s one of those dinner guests that are never actually invited but somehow they end up at your party.
You doubt promises that your friends and family make, leaving you with trust issues.
You doubt theories made by professors, which lead you to believe in the unbelievable.
You doubt ever getting that promotion at work, that has you thinking your worth nothing good.
All of this doubt inevitably leads you to doubting in the one who never breaks promises. One who cares about gaining your trust. One who gives unconditional second chances. The one who wants to do the crazy, out of this world miracles through you.
But you doubt the one who promises all of this.
You believe God couldn’t ever actually use you in extraordinary ways. I mean, why would He right?
I’m not ashamed to say that this is I.
I’m a doubter of God.
Yes, a missionary traveling the world teaching about God’s greatness and I doubt Him.
I hear about the amazing stories my squadmates have shared about how God used them to perform miracles and to do the unthinkable. I usually think, “Wow, God is so good, but He would never use me to do something like that” but secretly hoping He would.
Well sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith even in your doubt. That’s when He shows up and blows your mind out of the water.
One morning during our normal ask the Lord (ATL) walks two of my teammates, one of the church members and I met an old lady named Maria. We invited her to church, but she told us that she couldn’t come due to the fact that she couldn’t walk far because her legs hurt her. We soon learned that her whole body pained her every time she moved.
So instead, she sat. All day, everyday, on her front porch, watching life go by while she sat on the sidelines.
My teammates and I prayed healing over her legs.
But, nothing happened,
so we prayed again.
This time though looked a little different.
Maria stood up and walked.
Not only did she walk BUT she danced.
The look on her face was one of pure joy. Like a child learning he gets candy after dinner.
Once we left Maria’s house we decided to pray in the middle of the road and give thanks and glory to God. It was nothing we could have done without the power of the Holy Spirit inside of us. After we prayed a line started to form around us because the news of what happened to Maria traveled fast in the small town.
I felt like a true disciple from the Bible, like a Peter or a Paul. But in the back of my mind seeing all the people in the line, I doubted.
Is God going to show up again, like he did before?
Is He going to use me a second or third time?
Once again I had a choice, to take a leap of faith or to sit in my doubt.
Taking a leap of faith seemed like a far more appealing option.
When I chose faith, He showed off His healing, love and compassion to His children.
When we arrived back at the church I went and spent some more time with Jesus. I wanted to sit in His presence. I read the story about Peter walking on water. The story struck a chord in me.
I was Peter on the water.
I had faith for the first time and was doing the unthinkable, but for a split second I doubted.
Matthew 14: 31 “ O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” I still can’t answer God’s question. I don’t know why I doubt Him after seeing what I’ve seen and experienced. All I know is that God is good and faithful even in our moments of doubt. Lean on Him even when your not sure because He won’t fail you.
Having doubt is inevitable. How you respond to it shows character.
How do you handle the doubt that comes with everyday life?
My prayer is that you choose faith, Faith in yourself, faith in God and faith in the unthinkable.
