In these last few months since I have committed to the World Race, I must now know at least 10 people who have either gotten engaged or married. In just the last 5 months! My FaceBook feed seems like a constant rolling stream of happy couples! …Yyyaaaayyyyy *hard eye roll*
As one who has often struggled with singleness and being a verbal processor of emotion, I brought it up one day with a coworker. Her response to my shock at the daunting numbers of newly engaged- soon to be wed in my life really struck me.
She said, “Well Mary, that is just the next steps. They’re out of school, they have their careers sort of set in place, and they’ve been dating someone for awhile. So for people your age, those are sort of the next steps.“
(Ever have one of those dreams where the hallway continues to extend beyond you rapidly while you stand still? Shell shocked? …Yeah.)
Is it though? Is that the next step? “Well, I’ve got my job and I’ve got my boyfriend/girlfriend and I’m not getting any younger so…”
No! Or at least, It doesn’t have to be!
And also, Hello?! What if you’re single? Am I failing at this adult life thing if I’m not following “the steps”?!
Our culture says that we need to focus on finding “the one, the right one“. But what about learning to be “the right one”?
“If you’ll focus on being the right one, then God has this ability to put you in the right place and develop within you the right passions. And that’s so much more important than this elusive chase for “The One” “ -Pastor Steven Furtick: Elevation Church (Check out the video for this awesome sermon below this post. Worth every minute!)
You can be successfully, satisfactorily… Single.
BOOM! Yep. I said it. Look Out!
I think God has put me in that right place for me right now in my life on the World Race, to develop in me the right passions, my passion for Him.
And in all my searching for love I forget that God is Love
“It is more important that you develop a real passion for God than that you find the right person who you think is gonna to stir up a passion inside of you.” –Pastor Furtick
And I’ve gotta say, I am so glad that He has not let my life turn out the way I would have planned it for myself up until now.
Do you ever look back and feel that way?
If it were up to me, I would be married with kids by now. And then I would have it, all I’ve ever wanted. And you know what? My friendships would not be nearly as deep, the lessons I’ve learned not nearly as poignant and forming for my character. And to be honest, looking back at all He has taught me in these last couples of years I think I would have wrecked whatever marriage I would have been in anyway. Because I am not ready, and He knows that.
We should never stop growing but I cannot imagine what my life would look like now if I had not fallen in love with Jesus. He has made my life so much more exciting and fulfilling and impactful than I ever could without Him. Yet His timing is always unknown. And He has so much more in store.
I’ll tell you one thing. As much as I’ve hated it and wanted that special someone and mourned over my station in life, if I weren’t single I would not have the opportunities I do or the life I am living right now. And there is richness in every turn of this path of mine.
If I were not single I would not be going on the World Race.
But He knew better! And it just keeps getting better!
God uses willing hearts to do incredible things.
He knows me so much better than I will ever know myself and He knows the deepest desires of my heart. And when you release all of that to Him, He can use it in powerful and unimaginable ways.
“Both marriage and singleness are gifts but it takes grace for either gift to operate.“
Marriage is beautiful and important and good. And sometimes it is the “next step”.
But for some it isn’t or just isn’t yet. I challenge you to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.“ -Proverbs 3:5-6 Who knows what adventure He could have waiting for you around the corner, if only you’ll just take the first steps.
And as I take the Next Steps for me on the World Race, I cannot wait to see where Jesus is going to lead.
“Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. …In that day, declares the Lord, you will call me ‘my husband’…” -Hosea 2: 14 & 16
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