During camp there was this constant reminder, to just savor the moment. Savor the moment as you stand side by side with 250 young adults who are about to embark on a similar journey as you. It was such a cool reminder that I am not alone and that your peers are a group that is on FIRE for God. I would close my eyes and just listen as this group would raise their voices up to the Lord.
Not only did God show me a glimpse of His kingdom from a macro scale, he also showed me what he was doing in my heart. Training camp is a lot about knowing your identity in Christ, while God definitely pealed back some more layers for me. He was constantly reminding me how far I’ve come, more like how far God has brought me. We were encouraged to process with the Lord one time in a way that we never had before, so if you are one who like to process out loud, go sit in silence, if you journal try coloring. I decided to dance… It was incredible freeing just to dance. As I danced around (away from anyone else in a clearing!) I imagined God grabbing my head and just reminding me that I’m walking with Him in His glory. My heart needed that! My heart needed to know that He is holding on tightly for this next big journey. I needed that reminder that after months of healing, stripping away, and grieving that He was still right next to me and we had come so far!
As God continues to whisper to my heart, I had a really big epiphany. That day we had break our sessions and I went to one about dreaming. She shared the story of Esther and how she was so beloved by the King that he was willing to give her up to half of his kingdom. In a similar way are we not so beloved by our Father that we can enter His throne at anytime and ask for the desire of our heart?
So she asked us, to make a list of the desire of our heart. So I took a second and went, ‘ What does my heart desire? ‘ Tears. My heart wants to ride, it wants to walk into the barn and hear the nickering down the isle, it wants to breath in the smell of the barn, and it wants to feel the brisk wind as I ride around the arena. A dream that I have been living the past 15 years, a dream that was no longer a daily reality. I shared that with the group and the leader said how much bolder will your dreams be knowing that you once had them… as I was walking around processing this, it dawned on me, that I had been guarding and holding on to the dream of owning a horse again and being back at the barn so tightly. It felt like God was whispering to my heart, “you are so precious to me, why would I not guard and protect something so precious to you? ” They were words that I needed to hear. While there are days I am still very broken about horses not being a part of life, this reminder that God is holding on to my dream and protecting it for me helps make stepping out easier.
Finally, I felt so wrapped in prayer throughout my training camp. It started with my parents praying over me before they sent me through the security line, countless prayers from AIM staff and volunteers, friends and family, and then ended with my friend praying for me as she dropped me back off at my apartment. I felt loved, I felt protected, and I felt like I could spend those days at training camp embracing my time with God and my new family. Training camp will be one of those sweet memories I hold onto the rest of my life. So thank you for coming alongside me in this journey, thank you if you help financially hit my first goal to go to training camp, thank you for prayers, and your support. Training camp was such a gift and I am grateful for it.
