I can’t stand it, really. I pride myself in self-independence and still struggle to ask for help when I need it. Right now I’m pretty needy! I’ll admit it. My world has been flipped upside down. I’ve had to adjust to a new schedule, with a lot of alone time. I’ve faced one of my biggest fears of owning a horse and not having a job. I still need over $10,500 to be fully funded. I’m living off of savings and still have a good size list of things I need before my trip.
However, let me tell you how God is tearing down walls and continuing to bless me beyond measure.
My new schedule has had its ups and downs, but I’ve been determined to find purpose in the time that God has given me. We were given a list of recommended books for the trip. Originally I thought there was no way I was even going to touch them. I now have started two, finished the one I was reading, and have two others lined up. I’ve had a chance just to process. There has been so much change in my life in the past ten months. I was going to buy a house last Oct. This time has been so helpful to reflect, process, and prepare. It has also given me the opportunity to spend some wonderful time with some very dear people in my life. God has also expanded my Christian community. I now work part-time for a family owned business with co-workers who ask about my walk with God. I recently started BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) which helps me stay in the Word on a daily bases. It’s been incredible to see God bring more people beside me during this transition time.
Owning a horse without a job was my biggest fear! Not being able to pay for Simon after college would send me into panic mode. You know what, I faced that fear. Yes, there was a moment crying on the phone to mom worried about paying his board bill. I’ll be honest there were moments, but overall there was such a peace that God had me. That God was taking care of this and I didn’t need to worry. In those moments, my job was to come to Him in prayer. You want to know what happened? Just a few days after receiving my last paycheck I received a call about Simon. It was the perfect home, the kind of home I dreamed he would have. The girl that came to see him was a wonderful fit and had a team behind her to help her sort out his quirks. She fell in love and the next day she took him home. It was the answer to so many prayers and you know what that girl’s name is… Grace.
Fundraising is still a challenge, but being home has really given me some time to focus. My next fundraiser is actually coming up this Monday 9/28 at the Centerville City BBQ. They will be donating 25% of the purchases of those who come in with my flyer. It can be found here, https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_NkNnTTRPHVblljeFp4SkpfV2VYRGhGQWdOWFRsOVpBX1h3/view?usp=sharing Don’t worry there will be more on the horizon.
As far as gear goes, I sat down last week going through needed items for training camp, which is coming up here quickly, Oct.15. I had close to $300 of needed gear ranging from alarm clocks, my bed, and my packing system. A little freaked out and overwhelmed at the price tag, I reached out for help and posted it on FB and shared with my house church. At the end of the day, I had all the necessary equipment for training camp!
In summary, I’m still really needy. However, what I’m learning is that asking for help both from people and from God is incredible! It’s awkward and uncomfortable, but it is a wonderful reminder that I’m not alone and the stories that have resulted from this are amazing!
If you would like to help with my packing list for my trip, I have created a registry and it can be found at My Registry
Thanks for reading 🙂
