Have you ever backed into something in your car? You know that hesitant feeling of trusting yourself to back out of a parking space without hitting something the time you go to drive after the incident? Or, that cautious feeling you get around hot things after accidentally burning yourself?
We all have that natural instinct to be hesitant or cautious around something that has proven to hurt us in the past. I would venture to say, many of us are the same way around people. I know I am.
When someone hurts me or disappoints me, I want to forgive them because, well, because Jesus says so. And I know as a Christian I’m suppose to love others, even the “unlovable” ones. I want to love everyone, too. Really, I do. There’s a very pleasing thing in learning how to extend the grace and love of our Father to others.
BUT…
There’s this very human instinct within me to be hesitant to love someone who has hurt me, because, well because I don’t want to be hurt again. I try to love people — even those who have hurt me — out of simple commandment from my Heavenly Father, but many times I go about it the wrong way. I love with caution after being hurt. I hesitantly love someone who has disappointed me or let me down in some way before. It’s my natural instinct, my very own defense mechanism.
The thing is, though, when I’m so worried about protecting myself (by being cautious and hesitant) instead of listening to God (about loving others) I forget that God protects me WAY better than I protect myself. Plus, God is really good at this whole “loving those who persecute you” thing. I definitely need to take my lessons from Him.
Digging into that, I did find a special lesson about how to love after being hurt.
From God.
In Hosea 14:4 God is talking about the land of Israel who has done all these awful and offensive things (hurting and disappointing God) and He says: “I will heal their apostasy; I will freely love them, for My anger will have turned from him.”
Wait a second…
Did He say FREELY love? This is the part when I was reading where my soul sighed within me because I know I have a hard time with this. God is the One who is offended the most. Each of the 7 billion+ people on the Earth could add up the offenses committed against them and we would not hold a candle to those that have been perpetrated against God. Each sin is an offense to God. Each one. Let that soak in.
But after all the sin we each commit daily against our loving, merciful Father, He loves us freely. He doesn’t withhold any of His love, hesitant to give it to us in case we offend Him. He freely loves us, knowing we will continue to hurt Him. That’s some amazing grace, y’all! Some powerful love!
I’m not near as good at loving as my Abba Father. I never will be. (You know, because He is God!) However, I want to follow His example. I want to learn how to love freely, not cautiously or with hesitancy. I am a work in progress, but I am definitely working on loving people despite the cost — and despite the past.
