Today, I had the chance to take some time to breathe. I’ve been working for YouthWorks in Vermont for two weeks now and in just 7 short months, I will be knee deep in my first few days on the World Race. Sometimes I just get completely overwhelmed with awe and disbelief at the ways God is blessing me. This is my life. This is my life?! When I was a little girl, I would tell everyone I met how I was going to get out of Wisconsin and move to New York one day. As I grew, so did my plans. I always heard people saying “Someday I’m going to travel the world.” And I always wondered, “Well? What are you waiting for?”
When I was praying about the decision to come on the World Race, I thought of a thousand reasons not to. I’m not finished with school yet. I’m going to miss my friends and family so much. What if something happens to a loved one? Is it selfish to up and leave? Will people judge me for my nontraditional decision? These thoughts were stomped out by God’s unwavering grace. When talking with a World Race alumni one day during my decision-making process, I told her about these fears I had for leaving. She said to me:
“It will never be the right time to leave. Something will always be in the way; something will always be there to stop you. Maybe it’s school right now, but after school it will be a job or a relationship or a family. So if you’re waiting for the perfect timing, you’ll never be ready. Go.”
I’m going. My dreams are coming true every day. In the last year I’ve lived in Wisconsin, West Virginia, and now Vermont. Through the World Race, I’m going to see the world, just like I always said I would. I am continuously amazed by the doors God is opening up for me to serve Him and His Kingdom through mission work. I had the opportunity to talk to my priest—my role model—about my trip and was overcome with love and encouragement. He echoed what I had already been thinking: that God is clearly setting a path out for me to follow. In my short time in Vermont thus far, I can very clearly feel God preparing me for this crazy journey I’m about to take. I don’t know exactly how to put it into words but I know this: I’m tapping into a part of myself that’s been lying dormant for the last 21 years, waiting for me. I feel my soul awakening; I feel free.
I just finished writing my Wednesday night Club talk for YouthWorks. The theme for that night is Letting Go. I struggled at first to write it, because I wasn’t sure what I need to let go of in order to love God and others more fully. But as I wrote and prayed, I realized that one thing I need to let go of is my unsureness. Every day, I become more and more afraid that this mission will fall through. I get discouraged when I look at the little bar at the top of the screen telling me that I’m only 1% funded and I begin to question if this is really in God’s plans for me. I haven’t fully been trusting God and his plan for me and today I’m letting go of that. I know that He will provide the supporters that I need to make this lifelong dream my reality. I never planned on being a missionary. (My mom jokes that my home parish of St. Anthony’s turned me into this “monster” when they took me on my first mission trip when I was 16.) But the funny thing about plans? God laughs at them. How humbling to know that, at any moment, God could turn this world upside down. That’s what He’s done for me. He’s shaken up my plans, turned my world upside down, and given my life a new direction.
Today, June 5th, I have $165 in my fundraising account. My first deadline is approaching, and I need to meet $3,500. Please- pray with me that I reach this goal. And if you feel led to donate to my World Race—or know someone who might—please take the time to click on the link at the top of this page to make a donation or ask me how you can mail a check to ensure it ends up in my account. I really do need your help. If you would like to hear more about me, what I’m doing in Vermont, the World Race in general, or about how you can support me, please email me at [email protected] and I will be more than happy to talk! My “circle” only goes so far—please consider sharing this post and sharing about my mission with your friends, family, coworkers, and neighbors. Thank you so much for taking the time to read yet another lengthy post!
In my last post, I included a song that I felt captured where I was spiritually as I wrote it. I’ve decided to do that again. This song really describes how I’ve been feeling since I got to Vermont—I have felt this deeply spiritual part of myself coming alive and to put it simply:
I just feel free.
There is freedom in Jesus.
