I will be home in 3 weeks. That means I have 3 more weeks to live, laugh, and grow in Vermont. It’s a weird sensation, preparing to go back home again. Honestly, this summer has been a struggle. I’ve considered coming home early—considered giving up. Last night, Lissa asked us how we think we’ve grown the most this summer. While at first I felt like I haven’t grown at all, slowly lessons learned started popping into my head. I’ve learned that I love middle schoolers, that I am capable of taking care of myself, that time really does fly. I’ve learned that expectations of how things are “supposed to be” really can ruin experiences. I’ve learned that—especially when things are hard—we have to celebrate the wins; no matter how small they may be. I’ve learned that small tasks are what add up to big movements. Most importantly, though, I’ve learned two big things: that I can be pushed farther than I ever thought I could, and that sometimes, plans change.
A few weeks ago, I was sitting with some incredible participants during free time. They were asking me all about my World Race and how excited I am and how much money I have to raise and the works. Then they asked me, “So, when do you leave?” And when I told them I was leaving in January, one girl responded, “Oh so like less than 6 months?” I. Freaked. Out. Less than 6 months to raise money, process Vermont, mentally prepare for the Race, gather my gear, enjoy my last semester of school… It all seemed too much. So I took a few days to calm down and do some thinking. Over those few days, I talked to friends, family, and my team about pushing my route back and I prayed about it constantly. At first, I thought it might just be a momentary freakout, but with each passing day I am more and more sure that I’ve made the right decision.
I have decided to push back my World Race until July 2015. That’s a year from right now. Because of this change, I will now be able to finish my senior year at UW-Whitewater, live on campus rather than commute (and somehow, I was able to get my lease back with my good friends!), fundraise for an additional 6 months, and work for an additional 6 months. I will have more time to deal with personal demons that I don’t want to constrain me on the Race. I will also be able to, as I said, finish my senior year in its entirety. I’ve realized that just by leaving a few months later, I am able to have one more semester. One more semester that I will never get back. When I come home, my friends will have graduated and moved on. I love college and I love my life at Whitewater, and I will never get that semester back. I know that going on the World Race is the right decision for me, and I know that I will never regret going. But I’m realizing now that I think I would regret not having that final semester. Like I said, I will be home from Vermont in 3 weeks. I have a lot to process through from this summer, and I think the turnaround from then until January would just be too quick and too overwhelming. Also, fundraising while out of state has been hard. My mom has done the bulk of it, which I am incredibly grateful for. But I need more time, really, to be able to financially support this mission.
I am currently awaiting the July routes to be released so that I can know which countries I will be traveling to and who will be on my squad! It’s been difficult knowing that I have to say goodbye to the countries I’d set my heart on, and telling my squad that I won’t be joining them in January. But like I said, this summer has opened my eyes to a lot of things. All of my faith is in God, and I know that whatever route I’m on, and whoever I’m with, will be right. There will never be a country I’m not excited for, or a group of people I’m not excited to meet. The relief of having extra time to prepare for my mission is so strong. Thank you so much to all of my supporters—both prayerful and financial. I will continue to blog and update more throughout the coming weeks and months. I hope that y’all are able to understand why I made this decision, and continue to pray for my mission with me. If you have any questions as to why I made this choice, please feel free to contact me! I’ve always said that God laughs at our plans, and now I see why. He is ultimately in control, and I can’t wait to see what He has in store for me in July 2015.
