My family is incredible. I have never once feared I could screw up so badly that they would no longer love me. Their love has always been unconditional. They have taught me so much about life, love, grace, and strength. Now don’t get me wrong, we aren’t perfect, and it isn’t always flowers and rainbows… Just like all families, we have our messes, but we choose to love each other through them, and that’s what counts.
But, the Lord has been doing some work in my heart since I arrived in India. Hard, ugly, messy work. Work that brings about growth is always good though.
In Deuteronomy 6:5, we are instructed to love the Lord with all of our heart, soul, and strength. I can absolutely love with all of my heart, soul, and strength, but instead of loving God that way, I was loving my family that way. My family has been my top priority since I can remember, so I’ve been doing this love thing all wrong for a long time.
God is supposed to be my top priority. After He and I had a few chats, mostly me talking at first because I was too stubborn to listen, He began to change my heart. One of our favorite chats was me pleading with God to fill the North Carolina-size hole in my heart because that empty hole hurt more than I could stand, and if He didn’t fill it, I had no idea how I was going to stand being away from my family for 11 months. I was laying on the church floor (our home for the month), and I actually felt something being poured into me. I had never felt anything like it before- I was immediately at peace. He gave me grace and worked with me through the mess. He’s good like that.
He has taught me by loving Him first, I can actually love my family better than I was when I thought I knew better than He did. When He is my top priority, I’m telling Him I love Him and trust Him with everything… Including my life and my family’s lives. And I do. I know He will protect them and watch over them while I am away. It doesn’t mean I don’t miss them or that I enjoy being away from them, but God has called me overseas for this season, and I’m determined to be here with my whole heart.
As I was praying on Sunday, He told me to go read Psalm 91. It says “2 This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him… 9 If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, 10 no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your home. 11 For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go… 14 The Lord says, ‘I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. 15 When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. 16 I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.'”
I believe that, and I hope you will too if you don’t already.
Mom, Dad, Michael, Allison, Annaleigh, Clara, and my extended family & friends,
I love you more than I ever thought possible. You see, with God as my top priority, that’s actually possible… Who knew! 🙂 I pray in these next 10ish months, all of you grow closer to God, love Him more than you ever thought possible, and find your comfort in Him alone. I pray you thank Him on the good days and bad. I pray you make Him your top priority by putting your relationship with Him above everyone and everything else. I may be oceans away, but I constantly pray this for all of you.
For generations in my family, people have said, “Never forget who you are or where you came from.” If you were wondering, you are the sons and daughters of the Creator of this Earth, the one true King, and the most loving Father you could ever imagine. He loves you more than any earthly being ever could. Never forget that. He made you on purpose, and He has wonderful things planned for your life.
Joyfully yours,
Mary Catherine
*Just before Launch, each Racer was asked to pack things to leave behind in each country. I was at a loss. Bill Swan, I’ve decided to leave my old priorities behind this month.
