There are places and people that aren’t hard to leave. I don’t say that as a mean thing or even a negative thing. Sometimes there just aren’t hard places to leave. Sometimes you’re ready. Sometimes it’s time. Life changes, transforms, enter new chapters, and closes old ones. You’re often ready to graduate and enter a new world of challenges. At times you are ready to leave a job and move on to a new opportunity. You’re ready to move from one dwelling to a new home. And sometimes you build new friendships as old ones fall away. All of these things are an expected part of life, change happens.
On the Race change happens at an alarming rate. Monthly (sometimes more often) you literally pack up your life. You move to a new place, new culture, new daily routine, new challenges, and sometimes even new people, as team changes happen. It’s not normal to go through this much transition in 11 months. It’s not normal for our humanity to process so much change. Not only are our bodies constantly adjusting to new foods and climates, our senses are constantly overwhelmed with new smells, scenes, and experiences. Some people fall in love with people and places, only to grief saying goodbye every month. On the Race, when you put your heart out there, you know you will also experience grief and sadness as you leave. And since those around me are still loving people, you can draw the assumption that it’s worth it.
My heart doesn’t fall in love easily. I need time to invest in a place, in people, and really have my heart stirred to have my heart ache when I say goodbye. Sometimes I look around during goodbyes and people have tears flowing, and I don’t understand how people are in that place after such a short amount of time. We know we are leaving at the end of every month. We know the goodbyes are coming. We know that change, transition, and uprooting is what we signed up for when we stepped on the place back in July.
With all that said, I have had times that I have been sad to say goodbye. There are a few girls in India that my heart still aches for. When they come to mind I can’t help but smile and hope that they will discover how much God delights in them.
This month was filled with de-vining a fence, playing with some amazing kids, decorating for a music performance, helping peel cabbages at a Christmas party, and planting cucumber seeds. Needless to say, nothing about ministry really tugged at my heart. One of my last free afternoons before leaving I had the opportunity to visit Hosea’s Heart, a girl’s home. The girls, aged 6 to 20, have been removed from situations that put them at risk. A few of them are orphans, most of them have been raped, abused, or neglected. We danced, sang songs, took silly pictures, and did cartwheels. This home, this ministry, these girls have stirred my heart. I could see how this home is changing lives. As I left, I dreamed of a future for these girls. Futures they may not have had dreams about before they came to Hosea’s Heart.
Through this encounter God has stirred my heart for the abused, the broken, the trafficked, the hurting…specifically women and girls who need to know that are deeply loved by God. I have thought about clients I worked with in the past and wished they could know how deeply they are loved. I thought about girls who are being raped within the safety of their own homes. I thought about the trauma all these women and girls have experienced and how they need someone to hold them close and love them. I also thought about the untrained house-moms, cooks, teachers, sisters, and volunteers who support those who have been through and are going through these traumatic experiences.
I don’t know where God is calling me post-Race. I don’t know what God is calling me next. I don’t know why he stirs my heart the way He does. But I do know I won’t be satisfied until the abused, the broken, the trafficked, and the hurting know how infinite and personal God’s love is for them.
Hosea’s Heart opened in 2013, currently 20 girls live at the home, aged 6 to 20. They have recently acquired a second location that may be used for a transition home for the older girls, and could also be utilized for teams to come and stay. Hosea’s Heart loves, rescues, and gives these girls a chance to know God’s redeeming love.
