I’ve had remnants of 3 blogs floating around my head over the last 10 days, since I got home from training camp. I been saying I haven’t had the head-space to get something articulate out. But if I’m honest; I just haven’t made time to sit, to be still, and to write something worth sharing…even though God has been doing in my life over the last month that are worth sharing!
Confession time: I struggle with slowing down, turning the computer off, putting my phone down, ignoring my “to do list” and just being still. Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God…has never been easy for me to practice. If you know me, you know that shutting the overly vocal part of my brain doesn’t come easily. And please understand, I love being quiet before God. I love glorifying Him. I love spending time in His presence. I can focus at church. I love worshiping in my car…it`s my favourite part of the day. I could take quiet time at training camp, no problem.
But I came home from training camp. I have 1 million things on my list…time sensitive things…things that HAVE to get done. I struggle to be quiet, to be still. Even as I write this I have a motivation to so many other things. I am thinking I should be going to bed. I should read my bible. I should get a shower. I should do the dishes. I should pack some boxes before I go to bed.
Why is it, the most important part of the day is
the part I leave out the most?
Why is it so hard to do something that is so good for me?
(No I’m not talking about going to the gym…that’s a different story!)
Why is it so hard to get up in the morning to spend time with
God…when He WANTS to spend time with me?
Why is it so hard to do something I actually love to do?
Spending time being still, listening to what God has to say to me is the last part of my day….it generally ends up being my ‘leftover’ energy. It’s on my “to do list”. And that’s not okay. Just reading my bible isn’t enough.
I am continually striving to be disciplined. Most days I fail. But God has grace and gives me a new start every time. And in this moment I am feeling so humbled by His grace. I am feeling so loved, that He wants me to enter into His presence, even though I ignore Him regularly. This knowledge stirs a desire in me to spend more time with Him, giving Him glory, listening to what He wants to speak into my life, and letting Him guide me to pour out His love around me.
So I want to encourage you, take that fresh start. I suck at spending time with God too. But the amazing thing is that He still desires to spend time with us. So stop walking in the deprecating self-talk. And choose to walk in the freedom that we have, through Christ, to come before God and be in his presence.
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