This month we’re staying in a lovely apartment on the first floor of our family’s home. Our contact, Joel, is American and his wife, Nichola, is English. Their firstborn, Janelle, was around for the first half of the month which was an added blessing as well! It has been amazing hearing the stories of their thirty-one years of ministry all over Europe…They welcomed us warmly and have been such an encouragement to our team through their words, hopes and desires to follow the will of the Lord. Our house is on a mountainside overlooking the Adriatic Sea – it’s beyond beautiful. Seeing the mountains and the sparkling waters each day has made me really appreciate the artist that God is…
This month, we’ve run around Hertzig Novi and Kotor putting up posters and handing out fliers for our two showings of the Jesus film. We’ve attended and helped lead church services in Kotor at an awesome contemporary church that’s headed up by a South African missionary named Phil (3 of our other teams from the squad have partnered with that church for the month!). We’ve also passed out tracks (little booklets with encouraging words and an explanation of salvation) to different people, and have had great times of sharing and fellowship with our neighbours here in Kamanari also!
It’s definitely been the most restful month out of the Race – which we are so thankful for after three months in Asia and three months in Africa! Joel and Nichola have told us that though their seven years in Montenegro have been challenging and many times disappointing, they have seen the Lord move through their time of “ploughing the ground.” Of course, ploughing is necessary before seeds can be planted to grow and bare fruit – so we’ve just done our best to support and serve our family here through prayer, attending Christian events with them, and listening to their stories – which have challenged and inspired me, at least. Like awesome grandparents, they have suggested many different touristy sites around Montenegro for us to go see, and even insisted that we stay a day longer in Italy when we used some of our days off to explore! I have been so thankful to them for their emphasis on rest and rejuvenation and have felt like a granddaughter whose grandparents have desired for us to enjoy ourselves – and be filled up spiritually and mentally – going into the remaining 4 months of the Race.
We have had the most freedom and independence out of this entire Race – which has felt amazing. We’ve been able to just hang out as a team, cooking meals together, having movie nights with our host family. I’ve reallllyyyy enjoyed it! But there have also been a few things that have hit me that I thought I’d share, things that have been on the harder side:
- letting go of Africa for the time being. My heart is SO there, and is still processing having left. Moment of Vulnerability: two nights ago, I just stared at a picture of little Abite from last month – probably for half an hour – while tears rolled down my cheeks…
- community. Believing that things are going great with our team, and feeling the most relaxed (ever) with the people I’ve spent the last 7 months with, then finding out that others have been feeling unheard or unloved by our team, but hadn’t felt safe enough to voice it till after almost 2 months of being hurt…
- lack of dancing. Sounds funny, but for real. I’ve done the least amount of dancing here in this country than anywhere else, and it’s actually been a strange parallel to my spiritual journey. Something I’ve been trying to uncover this year is what God’s voice sounds like – figuring out what it means to “discern.” But last week, I promise I heard Jesus say, “It’s been a long time since we’ve danced together.” Just like I’ve missed dancing – because that’s something I’m passionate about – I’ve missed being creative in the ways that I’m thankful for what God’s given me, and in how I spend time with Him. And He noticed that I got distracted with everything else that was going on on the rest of the dance floor…
- comparison. Let’s face it. Everyone in Europe looks great. It sounds hilarious saying that. But when you’ve packed a total of 8 outfits for the whole year – 6 of which involve shorts and an exercise shirt – you become a tiny bit self-conscious. Obviously we had to buy warmer clothes (because up in the mountains, there’s snow!), but sometimes lies creep into that mirror telling you that you’re not quite good enough just as you are…
- taking things for granted. It’s easy to look at things in terms of “what’s missing” or how I don’t feel completely “fulfilled.” But I’ve recognized that those moments have come from seeking satisfaction or intimacy with things other than the Lord.
So there’s some honesty for you, which will maybe be helpful if you’re ever thinking of praying for me. I’ve been learning that it’s okay to mourn the loss of seasons – like Africa; that community looks different for everyone and that being on a team is like being married to 5 different people that you DIDN’T even pick out for yourself (ha!), so you can always improve communication; that Jesus WANTS to dance with me EVERY day; that I don’t need ANYTHING of this world in order to be valued by my Heavenly Father; that those mountains – if you stare at them long enough EACH day – become more and more magnificent, especially when you imagine God moulding them like clay. But there’s always so much more I can be learning and improving on, so that’d be cool if you could continue to pray for me!
I think I said this back in a blog post from Vietnman, but the pictures on facebook can only say so much. A picture’s definitely worth a thousand words…but there are uncountable thousands of words missing from those albums when it comes to the tough parts of each month. Trust me, this has been an unreal month! Just letting you in on a few of those not-as-pretty thoughts to keep it real. Because I want to keep it real for the next 4 months – strong to the end of the Race (well, and beyond that)!
Yet another completely unique month to anything else we’ve experienced yet! Of course I’ll miss it. But Joel says it’s most beautiful in September…
