There are many things that made my 10 days at training camp completely magical. I have never been so stretched mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially…my introverted side rode the struggle-bus some days. Camp strips us of our comfort zones, our sleeping and eating patterns, personal time, friend making preferences, and coffee dependent living. It forces us to dive deep into discovering who we are created to be.
For the sake of a possible pre-world racer stumbling across this someday, I won’t share much information on the day-to-day training; so instead, here are 4 things I learned while in the ridiculously humid, green cuteness that is Gainesville, Georgia.
We create “false selves” in order to hide our true identity.
Being intentional about recognizing where/what we find our identity in is of the utmost importance. One of the first seminars we sat through discussed finding our “true selves”, shedding our “false selves” and learning to live out the real identity God created us to be. Leaning into our true identity is messy, hard, and emotional. I remember the speaker looking to the crowd and asking the question: “Who are you created to be?”. That statement alone can bring on enough emotions and questions for a slight anxiety attack.
But through the session, I realized this question is not meant to cripple us, but liberate, inspire, and motivate us. God created everyone with different skill sets and passions. Often times, we are scared to really pursue our dreams because we are afraid of what people might think if we show our real, vulnerable selves. We settle for a less than desired life, in order to play it safe and blend in to society, living a life out of our “false self” in order to please others or feel acceptable. God doesn’t want us to live our lives in a cookie cutter fashion of what we feel is perfect or socially acceptable. He wants us to live an authentic, thrilling life. The only way this is possible is to shed the facades we wear around town.
The more we learn and know about Christ, the more we learn and know about ourselves. And the more we find out about ourselves, the more we find out about Christ. Pursuing Him and finding our worth in Him is the only way we will truly find out who we are meant to be. This process will eventually bring comfort in a real, unmasked life.
Reality must be embraced before it can be changed.
I have decided to dedicate my race to finding my worth and freedom in Christ. To finding my true identity. This is no small task. In order to do so, I need to shed my “false self”, my “façade”, and confront the things I feel the need to cover up or keep hidden. Camp taught me that the very things I “hide” from the world are same things everyone else hides from the world. We all feel inadequate at times. We all want to be seen as perfect, strong, smart, and having it all together. But, this is not the life we were created to live. Because with fakeness, true intimacy in both Christ and community is lost. Embracing insecurities and faults is necessary in order to ever grow past and learn from them. We will never move forward if we do not confront what is holding us back.
Vulnerability is necessary:
Vulnerability: The most liberating and crippling word I know. There’s something about vulnerability that forces us to own our story. We all have stories, and they are all important. Stories are meant to be shared. I’m not telling you to turn to the stranger to your left at a coffee shop and share your most intimate life details. But telling those whom have earned your story is crucial.
These are the people who have chosen to walk life with you, encourage you, and who value deep relationships. There is dangerous power to keeping our story and struggles to ourselves. It is exactly what Satan wants for us. To be insecure, secluded, and feeling alone our entire lives. He convinces us no one will understand and we will only be judged. This way of thinking, forces us to continue living in our masked, false selves. Don’t buy into that lie.
Seth Barnes, the founder of World Race, states it well in his book Kingdom Journeys, “Humans have a need to be known at a deep emotional level. Having a million superficial friendships can feel the same as having none.”
When you allow your close friends to know your struggles, there is true freedom in the process. It causes the walls to fall, shackles to be broken, and our stories will hold less power over us.
The people on my squad helped me work through issues and see my life from a totally different perspective. They called out lies I believe about myself, and spoke truth and life to me. They empowered me, and I am so very thankful. This would not have happened if I had not been real with them. I challenge you to find that person or persons in your life that stand by your side and walk in faith. Open up to them in a safe, entrusted environment. Embrace the uncomfortable moments, because it is oh so worth it. Growth will happen, and it is powerful.
(I also urge you to read “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown, who shares her research on vulnerability and how to go about it in a healthy/safe manner.)
Grace is imperative.
Grace is so often overlooked and underused. Most people, including myself have a hard time accepting the reality of the fact that grace abides in Christ and is created to abide in us. The idea of grace is hard to understand and even harder to accept. Christ freely gives it to us. “His grace is sufficient for us”… (2 Corinthians 12:9).
I, like most people have a hard time accepting this gift, simply because I have a hard time giving grace to myself. Why would someone who knows everything about me, love me enough to cover me in grace? I am a hard working-earn my right type of person, to fully accept something that is given to me, while undeserving is hard to grasp. BUT, accepting this gift is crucial for growth. By grace we have been saved. By grace we are forgiven. By grace we are loved and called His sons and daughters.
God looks past our sins and gives grace. So why would I not be able to look past my sins and give myself grace? Without grace, there is no freedom, only bondage. Satan wants us to live in the “you will never be ____ enough” jail cell, telling us we are sinners. He dangles that lie over our head all day, everyday convincing us it is truth. Well yes, we are sinners. But the catch is that it doesn’t stop there.
We are LOVED. We are ADORED. We are called sons and daughters.
Because God’s looks past our sins and extends grace.
Accept it.
Give it.
Freely we receive and freely we will give.
-Marsh
(X-SQUAD= 48 people; My team=7 people)
All 48 of us will travel from country to country together, and will disperse in teams to different hosts and ministries. You can check out all these fabulous people and read their blogs by clicking the tab on the lefthand side of my blog. 🙂
X-SQUAD-BEST-SQUAD
My team (Left to right): Zack, Amy, Kody, Rebecca, Joe, Jeni, Me
