Part One: The Struggle Is Real
Month three was hard. Really hard. My team started in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam without me as I was home for my birth mother’s funeral. By the time I reached them, I was physically, emotionally and mentally drained. Instead of letting them in on how I was feeling and taking time to adjust, I just did what I have been used to doing for 24 years – I jumped right into the flow of things.
As soon as I stepped my feet on the ground in Vietnam I could just feel the spiritual battle all around me. The dream I had when I was home (and blogged about last month) was the thing God used to prepare me for this month of ministry. Almost immediately there were temptations all around me. I was attacked from all sides, just like I had experienced in my dream, and instead of reaching out to my teammates and seeking the Lord, I tried in my own strength to fight. It felt like I failed at everything last month. My heart was not in a good place. I was tired. It was hot. I felt shame. And… I had my phone stolen out of my pocket by a man on the street trying to get me to buy something. I struggled.
But God…
Leaving Vietnam headed to Cambodia, I prayed that month four would not be like month three for me personally. I opened my Bible, and this is the first thing I read:
Romans 8:1-4New Living Translation (NLT) 1 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. 3 The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature. So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. 4 He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit.
I came on the World Race because I love to travel. I love people. I love different cultures. All of those are good things. But I really came on the World Race because I want more of Jesus in my life. I will run towards that. Along the way I will trip, and I will get tired, but I will keep running even when it is scary. Even when I fail, I will trust my God because He knows what is best for me!
Part Two: Even in the Midst of Struggles
Last month I got to teach English and through that, God gave me a joy for teaching. The thought of it used to really scare me, but as I walked into it, I really enjoyed it. People have always told me to speak up and mumble less. I always thought people were making fun of me, and it just made me shut down. But while at training camp for the World Race, God taught me that I DO have a voice and that it matters and needs to be heard. While in Vietnam, I really started to believe it.
The fear of always being misunderstood was gone. One of the hosts that we got to partner with came to me after class one day and said that the students really like me because they understand me and I speak clearly. That gave me a confidence that I could possibly be a teacher. Maybe I will. I am open and listening.
Please join me in praying that God would continue to reveal His plan for my life.
Part Three: Turning the Page
We have left Vietnam. WHile it was incredibly hard, it could very well be the month that God used to show me some BIG things about myself!
Month four is Cambodia. It is “Manistry” Month, so I am doing construction work alongside my guy teammates. Thank you for supporting me, loving me, and praying me through this race!
