My next blog assignment from the World Race staff was to write about my expectations of the Race. I suppose this is so others can read about what I hope to accomplish through this trip and what I hope will be accomplished in myself. I have been thinking a lot about expectations the past few days, and what it really means to have God-centered expectations. Because you see, I have had many expectations in my lifetime and very few of them have come to fruition. Like Solomon once said, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps” (Proverbs 16:9).
I expect life at home to go on without me. My friends will move, get married, start jobs. My little brother will start His first year of college. My family will celebrate Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and birthdays without me. As much as I’d like life to pause until I return, I know it will not. But I also expect great joy from proclaiming the kingdom, even if my heart may still be aching for home.
“I tell you the truth,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields-and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.” (Mark 10:29-31)
One of the hardest aspects for me in deciding to give this year of my life to the Lord is the fact that I won’t be able to see my family and loved ones for such a long period of time. Along with that, it’s been a bittersweet process of getting rid of most of my possessions. It’s made me realize how much I define myself by my family, friends, and stuff. But if there is anything I expect after reading the verses above, it’s this: First, I expect to love my Race family. I know I will receive a family of believers like nothing I have ever experienced before. It will be challenging living in such close community, but I expect to learn so much about how Christ intended for His Body to function. Second, I expect that God will meet all my needs. Jesus promises that those who abandon fields (possessions) will receive a hundred times as much in this age. I know this to be true already, simply from the generosity of those who have given financially to support me in this Race. I still have a long way to go in support raising, but it’s something I refuse to let myself worry about. I know the Lord will provide for me if it is His will! Finally, I expect persecutions…I am not going to gloss over this part of the passage. I’m going to have people who don’t understand why I am going and criticize me for it. I’m going to have days on the Race that I want to go home. Days that I would give anything for a shower or a home-cooked meal. I may be rejected or ridiculed in sharing my faith; I could get sick or injured. But in these persecutions, I will have the hope of the provision of the Savior who has promised “100 times as much” in this lifetime and in the age to come.
“Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal.” (John 11:24-25)
Finally, I expect (hope) what is left of “me” will die. My constant prayer over the past few months has been, “Lord, transform my heart to look like Yours. May Your desires become my desires.” So here I am, letting go of my life and trusting that I will receive life, real life, in return.
May my expectations of this Race be shattered, apart from the ones that are from You, Lord.
