I wrote in my Anniversary blog, that I had been praying for and anticipating what God had next for me. After finishing up my year as a teacher, my thoughts went something like this: well, here I am again. Unemployed, unsure of what direction to head in, a little anxious/nervous, but excited for whatever’s next.
I have been asking God to open and close doors as He wanted them. I know that I am capable and equipped to make decisions, but I struggle so much with choosing where to go next. Especially when my choice to move to Phoenix brought me into a really tough season- (this may have been exactly what The Lord had for me, or I may have chosen out of a lack of trust in Him to be the perfect guide that I know He is? I know either way, He’s using it for good) So, I applied away at lots of jobs, in lots of places, in several different fields. Ranging from barista or server to exercise physiologist or health and wellness coordinator, to office desk jobs, to medical sales…. you name it, I probably applied. The emails poured (and continue pouring) into my inbox- “We appreciate your time, but we’ve moved forward with other applicants.” I had one interview, thanks to a friends great referral (thanks Matt!), with a non-profit I got to work with on the Race but didn’t get a job offer. Still jobless, I headed to Gainesville, GA to lead the Puerto Rico trip.
Before I headed to Puerto Rico, I got to spend some quality time with one of my bff’s Kate. One night, as we sat on a dock at a lake, we gazed at the sky and I shared with her my fears and anxieties about my future. She assured me that God was directing my ways and showing me the ways to walk- to the right and to the left. She also assured me whether I chose to walk right or left, that God was going to be by my side because I was seeking Him and desiring to be in His will. When I got to our first day of VBS in Puerto Rico, Kaylah (our contact) handed me a pile of decorations to hang. As I unrolled the signs and pictures, the first thing I saw was a verse- which I later found out was the theme for the week. When I read it, at first I was unsure so I grabbed an English Bible and checked- and I was right, the verse was the same one that Kate had referred to!
Isaiah 30:21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”
Isaías 30:21 Ya sea que te desvíes a la derecha o a la izquierda, tus oídos percibirán a tus espaldas una voz que te dirá éste es el camino síguelo
While I was still on the Race, I was asked to consider squad leading. I quickly turned that down because I believed that I needed to get back to “real life.” My heart felt drawn to squad leading, but my head told me no- that it was time to pick up my responsibilities.
When I arrived at the AIM office, my squad mentor from the Race and I talked, and she told me to pray about working with AIM. She said she was going to speak with some people about positions available and possibly interviewing while I was in Gainesville! I was excited for this opportunity to present itself again and I continued to ask God to open and close the doors, to show me where He wanted me. A few days after getting back from Puerto Rico, I got the chance to interview for squad leading. I was super nervous, and had to pause and ask The Lord to work my words together (in the middle of the interview!). While I waited about 24 hours to find out whether I would be asked to squad lead or not, I was so anxious. What if they said no? Then I am hearing God wrong? What if they say yes? Then I have to pack up and completely trust that God is going to make a way for this to happen? I couldn’t understand why I was this on edge over the outcome, even though I knew either way that it would be good. My bff Kate said “He is showing you how important this is to you, how much this means to you!”
After playing in the international market scene at training camp- staff and volunteers dress up like people from the markets of the world, loud music, foreign languages, beggars, homeless people etc, Renee asked me to come meet with her and discuss my interview. I headed to her office and she informed me that, after praying and speaking with some people who could tell her a little more about me, she would like me to consider leading a squad!
Since I had already had a lot of time to consider this and pray about it prior to even interviewing, I knew that I was supposed to accept. Here’s something I wrote down the other day- If I can have any part in bringing the gospel to and serving others through sacrifice and love, while simultaneously being used by God to love, teach, disciple, and impart His gifts on the men and women who’ve been lead to this surrendering of themselves to serve Him- how can I possibly turn it down? What greater honor do we have than this?
And so, here I go. Time to get uncomfortable and dive into this next thing. I will be leading a Gap Year World Race squad of 18-22 year olds on a 9 month trip to 3 different countries. I have training camp next week, and launch in September. I need God to align things and to provide in really big ways for this to work… I have realized though, that when I fully need and have to depend on Him to provide is when I feel closest to Him, and when I can see clearly the beauty in His provision and care for me.
If you’re interested in supporting me, I need prayer. Like, to be covered in prayer. I am SUPER excited to get to lead and walk alongside my squad on this life changing journey; I know I will need strength, courage, wisdom, and energy from God to make it.
I also need to fundraise $3,500 for the duration of the trip, and will need some support outside of what my AIM account covers. If you feel lead to supporting me, or have any questions get in touch with me!
