As I sit looking out of the window of the house we’ve
been staying at in Swaziland
for the past week, I wonder how real my life is today. I’m sitting in a house, in Swaziland,
admiring the view of a country that statistically could cease to exist within my
lifetime from the HIV / AIDS outbreak…that is unless God intervenes and
changes the course that the country is in right now. Things make me think when I come across
this…why do I have to sit and watch this happen? Will my team have any hope in fixing this
problem? Where will the country actually be in a few years? I don’t know the answer to any of these
questions, but I hope that we have some part in the Kingdom of God
changing history for this small African country.
I wonder at times, how does a place get like this? I look out, admiring the view as it’s
beautiful here…I feel the breeze, I smell the smells, it’s great, seriously,
I’m currently living in Swaziland…it’s an amazing place! But then I realize where I’m staying, and it’s
a harsh reality of what life is actually like here. I realize that the house we are staying in
has a 5′ wall around it, razor wire surrounding it, a locked gate protecting
it, bars on all the windows protecting us.
We are told not to leave anywhere alone here, as it’s too
dangerous…yet throughout all of this, I feel normal, safe. It’s a very common site, very few houses here
look much different in Manzini where we currently are (though we are moving
tomorrow), nice looking houses surrounded by a large concrete wall, with razor
wire and barbed wire surrounding it, most all have bars on the windows, and
securely locking gates (with sharp razor wire on the top of that too)…oh
yeah, I forgot to mention the man-eating dogs that bark and stare you down
everywhere you walk. I’m not kidding
about any of this. It’s the place we
have been for the past week. I have no
explanation for my feelings of being safe, as I’m in a place that I probably
shouldn’t feel that safe…if I ever walked into an area in the USA that looked
like this I’d lock the doors on my SUV and hit the gas to get out of it as soon
as possible…but here, I walk and look at it all, nearly numb to the feelings
of less security. I don’t get it…in a
place where the landscape is so beautiful, how has it become so ‘insecure’.
We walk (in groups for safety, mom) to the main part of
town, to check our e-mail, post this blog, you know, the important stuff in
life…oh yeah, and hit up KFC for lunch, and on the way pass by a landfill, a
garbage dump. In the dump, people scavenge
through the new drop-offs for the day, looking for something that’s of
worth…after-all, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Again, nearly mute to the horrible poverty
that surrounds me, I continue my walk to the town.
The other day I was walking with my friend Kim, and as we
walked through the ‘crowd’ of Manzini (which is a fairly small town, so the
crowd isn’t too large) we had a man approach us, and immediately say, “you’re
with Adventures in Missions, aren’t you?”
Of course, we said yes, and made small talk with Yul (I think that’s how
you spell his name!) He walked with us and talked with us about the people he
knows and the love that they’ve passed on to him, naming off many AIM people
that I didn’t really know, begging us to find out when they were coming back to
Swaziland, of which we both replied we weren’t sure…so if you know Yul and
want us to answer that question, please let me know! He’s HIV+…and loves to talk about life and
his knowledge of Jesus and the Bible…we helped him out with some medication,
and he went on his way…it’s a real humbling feeling knowing that life
expectancy in Swaziland is under 30 years old, and the risk of talking to
someone today is that you may not ever see them again, they may well die before
seeing them again. It’s sad to realize
that, but it’s true…I hate that it’s the reality, but that’s the need in this
country…pray for Swaziland.
So here I am, slowly and sadly realizing that I’m slowly
becoming numb to the surroundings around me.
After so much poverty that we’ve seen, so much oppression, so many
horrible circumstances, I realize that each area I’ve set foot on has
completely different needs. I realize
that my horrible views on poverty in the past are coming to pass. The “go out and get a job, quit complaining
about your circumstances” attitude is changing, I’m being transformed. I realize how hard it is. I look at my world in the USA and realize
that I’m a whiner. I met Isaiah, who
walks 1 hour 15 minutes each way to work…EACH WAY…and i complain if I have
to drive more than 20 minutes to work. He’s
the lucky one. Some take 2+ hours to get
to work, and if they are lucky they are making more than 70 rand per day, the
equivalent of less than $10 USD per day.
We met a guard the other day who makes 800 rand per month, is supposed
to get 4 days per month off, yet hasn’t had a day off in 2 months. His shift goes overnight for 14 hours every
day…to put that in perspective, that’s less than 2 rand per hour (25.4 CENTS
per hour)…and he’s thankful to have a job…every time I saw him, he smiled
at me and greeted me.
I’ve seen so much, too much to not change. I’ve experienced too much to ever live a
normal life again, whatever that may mean.
Today our “debrief” time ended, our time to get the entire squad back
together, and our small teams all split to go our separate ways once
again. This is most definitely not my
favorite time…saying goodbye to those we started the year off with for 3
months, seeing each other day in and day out…saying goodbye to each other for
another month, knowing that everyone will get a tad bit different each month,
wondering who will be completely transformed next month, wondering what I will
experience this month. I never know what
is coming next in my life now, it’s always an adventure. There are tough times ahead though,
personally…please pray that it’s not more than I can handle at the time, as
the Bible says that God won’t throw more at us than we can handle…what would
be the end of the school year is quickly approaching…I’ll miss saying goodbye
to the fine students at Kannapolis Middle School, and knowing that I have a
fine summer to ‘relax’ and prepare for next year…July I’ll be missing my
family vacation at Higgins Lake…I’ll be missing Ben and Christine’s wedding, I’ll
miss countless birthdays and BBQ’s at Lake Norman. The next few months will possibly be the
roughest for those reasons. I don’t
actually know how I’ll handle it all, so far I’ve handled it all very well, and
am looking forward to so many things that I’ll be doing…but this is another
season, and with other seasons come other issues…yet I’ll press onward!
Life as I once knew it is over…and my new life is
AMAZING! Seriously, who lives this
way? Who travels the world, spreading
Jesus and the Kingdom
of God all over, leaving
footprints and memories and “goodness” everywhere? Not many…I’m blessed, and I know it…but
it’s not a vacation!
PS…There’s a REAL GOOD chance that I’ll be offline for the
next month, so I’m sorry for the lack of updates coming for the next 3 weeks or
so. I absolutely love hearing from you
all, so please show some love and support through e-mail or comments here!!!!!!
