It’s those voices.
I’m sick of them.
You likely know the voices, the ones that come to you in your weakest
times. The voices that tell you everything that’s wrong with you, your
life, your world, they keep you up at night. They tell you nothing
good, in fact, they’re so darn convincing that you start to believe
them…or am I the only one?
I started off this week with a lack of sleep caused by these voices.
They attack me constantly as I lay down to sleep, reminding me of so
many things wrong…
- You’re not good enough
- Thailand doesn’t need you
- Finances is always going to plague you
- Your friends don’t really like you
- Loneliness is you
- You’re never going to look good
- Nobody is ever going to love you
- You cannot do anything successfully
- Life is never going to go your way
- You will never have energy
- You are not healthy
I actually hope I’m off in left field on this and that I’m the only
one this ever happens to. I loose sleep with these things and I’m
friggin’ over it.
I hear daily of someone else with health problems, someone else
dieing, someone else coming from a broken home, someone else
heart-broken, someone else loosing their mind….the list can go on and
on and on, but you get the point, we live in a jacked up broken world,
and I feel the weight of it a lot, and can’t stop thinking of it in the
times I am the weakest.
The voice seems to be never ending, as Kris Vallotton refers to it
as lunch dates with the devil. He has a great series on Spiritual
Warfare, at one point talking about how we tend to listen to the
negative voice more than God’s words that have been spoken over us. He
talks of how we allow the devil to use his only remaining weapon of
words, lies and deception against us, and how we need that to stop.
Why is it that we can hear the above phrases so much louder in our
head than the truths God’s spoken over us? I’m convinced I’m not the
only one that does this, but I’m also declaring today that I’m not going
to allow it. Instead we need to speak into our own lives and others
truths. The convincing words of the devil need to be the very thing
used against him…
- You ARE good enough, in fact, there’s nobody better for this than
you - Thailand does need me
- I’m not a pauper, but my God has finances of a King, and I’m his
child - My friends don’t know what to do without me (ok, so that’s a little
overboard…hah!) - Life of fullness is screaming inside of me
- Damn, I look good (also a little overboard, but you get the point…
haha!) - People love me, and I am not going to be lonely.
- Success follows me wherever I go
- Life isn’t supposed to go ‘my way’ but instead where He goes I’ll
go… - I cannot wait to take on this day full of energy and life from the
ultimate provider - I walk in ever increasing health
The list needs to go on, but for your sake of already being bored to
tears if you’ve made it this long, I’ll stop!
I simply know that I’ve allowed the attacks to seep into my life for
too long, and it’s time to regain territory in this! I’m no longer
taking the voice of the enemy to heart, but I’m going to listen to the
voice of God instead…as one of my favorite bands, needtobreathe, puts it:
Oh, this is the way I wanna go down
(This is the last time) I’m starting over with you
This is the way I wanna go outI never second-guesssed the little voice I heard
It’s just a whisper, that sounded like a scream
I aint never felt so free
That whisper that sounded like a scream? that’s the one I want to
follow…and I’ve never felt so free!
