John 13:35 “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
I learned a lot on my race about love.
The best and hardest feedback I got from three people on my race was that they didn’t feel loved by me.
When the first women told me that I didn’t love her well I immediately blew off her attempt to help me grow. That is the purpose of feedback on the race for those of you who are unfamiliar with the concept; helping each other grow. We would sit down every night and pray into our day of ministry and speak the greatness we saw in each other and the chances we saw for growth in the Lord.
Sometimes an outside perspective is what you need. It’s what I needed when it came to love.
When one person says they don’t feel loved by you it’s really hard to hear. Although, it is also easy to let your pride step in and say that it is thier problem, I know I love well. However, after the second and third person said they don’t feel loved by me, I took it to the Lord and asked Him if there was truth in their statements.
Did I really not love well?
I was crushed.
This is when the Lord spoke to me about how people give and receive love, stressing that there is no limit to the amount of love you can show someone. If you don’t love someone in a way they receive love, then you really do not love them well.
What is strange to me is that I have never read the five-love languages book, by Gary Chapman, but I feel like I have because of the night I spent with the Lord in Thailand.
For each of the three women He showed me how I had loved them but then revealed to me how they receive love.
It was easy for me to love these beautiful women how I received love, through quality time and serving them. But they wanted to be affirmed with words in our friendship. Because, for them, spending time together didn’t mean I loved them. They wanted to be hugged and comforted. The act of carrying their bags didn’t show them they are loved.
Buy me a gift and I wont really be moved, regardless of what it is. But if I were to buy them a candy bar they would feel loved, thought of, and cared for.
I have been growing in love while learning to walk by the Spirit. Loving with no other motive but to have them feel desired and valued. Reminding them of the Fathers love by my presence. In giving a hug I pray to myself "I love you".
So here is a challenge I have for you. It is going to take some courage and vulnerability on your part. Go and ask those close to you if they feel loved by you. Open your relationships up so that you can grow in love.
I have grown closer to the Lord while learning to love my brothers and sisters.
