I must start this blog by telling my dad that I love him.
Dad, you did a great job raising my siblings and me. I always felt freedom, encouragement and support to pursue whatever my heart desired.
This is one of the main reasons I have ended up here at Adventures. You supported me in seeking the Lord when I turned away from nursing. Your heart was to have what was best for me. You understood that meant pursing after Christ first. For that I truly thank you.
I write the rest of this blog not in an attempt to dishonor you dad, but to have others receive a piece of truth, in revelation, I received towards the end of my race.
I grew up scared of my father.
He had an anger inside that made me want to run and hide. I was never sure what was going to make him angry. Things would send him over the edge that didn’t make sense to me. Small things out of place, but only sometimes. A comment my mom would make, again, only sometimes.
I wasn’t sure what would make him angry. All I knew was that I would shut down and run when this anger would arouse.
This caused me to grow up making every attempt to please him. It wasn’t out of love I would seek to please him; I wanted to have him appeased and not angry. My whole family would do this in one way or another.
I feared this “sleeping bear”.
It is because of this fearful, performance based, relationship I had with my father that I struggled to believe my heavenly Father was pleased with me apart from my works.
When I could see a sin in my life, which I had committed, I would run from my heavenly Father believing He was angry with me. After all, that is what I knew from my father.
I couldn’t see He is pleased with me because I am His son, in Christ, apart from my works.
This distorted view I carried of God; deriving from the relationship I had with my earthly father, hurt my walk with the Lord for years.
I encourage you to evaluate the relationship you have with your dad. Ask God to reveal how this relationship has caused you to carry misconceptions of Him and His love. I promise you that His heart is to draw you closer to Him, especially when your heart is hurt because of sin in your life.
His wrath and anger is satisfied through Christ’s blood.
There is no need to run from Him. Draw closer and let Him comfort you.
I have to end this blog by letting my dad know that this isn’t who I see him as any more. I have seen tremendous growth as you have challenged yourself to draw closer with the Spirit.
You are not your father!
Thank you for loving and supporting me the best way you know how. I pray that you continue to grow in love papa.
I love you
