The church we’re living in this month has a round-the-clock watchman. The guard who is on the clock keeps us, the building, and the people who live behind us safe. He keeps watch of who comes in and out of the main gate and, on our first day, assured the 12 of us (Teams Chrysalis and Olur) that we had nothing to worry about.
Our main contact for the month, Joseph, sat us down on the first day of ministry and asked each of us on Team Chrysalis how we’d come to know Jesus. He sat and listened intently to each word we said. When we were finished, we asked him, “What’s your story?”
I won’t forget when he said, “I started out as a watchman for the church. I didn’t care what I did, I wanted to work hard at whatever I did for the Lord.”
Now, Joseph leads a congregation of about 140 members in a church that started just a year ago with 13 people in the Southlands area in Nairobi, Kenya.
That simple statement said so much about him and the way the church we are serving with this month functions. He continued to say, “When God can trust you with a little, he’ll eventually trust you with a lot.”
At our most recent debrief, I had the chance to read over my journal, which is full of entries about the events of the day, my prayers, and — to be honest — my whining.
I ask God for what I want ALL. THE. TIME. I tell him what I “need.” I tell him that my way is the right way. I ask that he make my circumstances different. I ask that he give me more. And more. And more. And more. I ask him why he made things the way they are now. I question his motives for certain decisions he’s made. I complain about not knowing how certain situations could mean growth for me.
I pretty much tell him I don’t want to be a watchman.
There are so many steps that I need to take in order to get me to where I want to be, but first I must learn to be able to be trusted with the little things.
Most times I don’t.
So easily I want to give up on people, on ministry, on praying for others, on God.
This month already is one of learning true dependence on him. I’ve been relying on my own strength, on the strength of those around me. Now I must learn that nobody else has the strength to take me through the second half of the race. Only he can, but I have to let him.
Will I?
